Post # 1
I am wanting some outside perspective on this because I have talked about it a lot with my family and friends…
My FIL’s live about an hour and change away from us. We see them relatively often, and my Fiance has seen them on his own, without me, 2 times in the last month, we’ve probably seen them 5 times in the last 2 months, both for either a full day, or an overnight. He is close with his parents, but they don’t talk on the phone a lot. We do email / facebook with them often.
My parents live 15 min from us, I spend a lot of time with my mom, but as a couple we do not spend a ton of time with my family, I think we’ve seen them together once in the last month. When we do see them its usually just for a few hours for supper.
Thanksgiving: we are spending Thursday day with my folks, and Friday with his (his mom is a nurse and always works Thanksgiving). He is wanting to go down there super early on Friday and stay through til Sunday. I am feeling a LOT stressed with school (finishing my Masters) and the wedding (100 days from Thanksgiving!) and going into the insanity of the holiday season. I am fine with staying Friday night, but I really don’t think its necessary to stay for the whole darn weekend. Esp. since he just saw them all last weekend.
Post # 3
@annapeeps: do you have two seperate cars? that way you both could come back when you want to. my fiance and i sometimes have to do that because of work when we visit my family (2 hours away).
Post # 4
We do have 2 cars, so I could drive back, but I am already feeling guilty for skipping out on a few of the MANY family weekends. And I want him to help me with the wedding stuff we need to do (aka the invites HE wanted us to make, which he has of course not helped at all on).
Post # 5
I think I understand what you’re saying here. My SO’s parents live 20 minutes from us, and my parents live about two hours away. Clearly–we see his parents a whole lot more than mine. I don’t mind it, I love his parents, and the distance is a totally logical reason. What I’m not understanding is this–are you not wanting to stay the whole weekend because you want more time with YOUR folks (reasonable)? Or are you wanting to come back a little earlier because you have so much to do (also reasonable)? If it’s the first–what if y’all left a little later on Friday instead of checking out at the break of dawn. OR–if it’s work (and I’m thinking that it is)-is there anything you could take with you? I always take my laptop with me (I’m currently applying to grad school), because I know there will always be downtime where I can get a little work done. A little here and there adds up. Do either of these sound like good compromises? Finding an alternate solution tends to be my MO…have you spoken about it with him?
Post # 6
Honestly, I’m ok with going to my folks just for Thursday day (we’re not even spending the night). We both work a lot, and I really just want to be able to spend time with HIM. His family can be intense, and no one really “escapes” from the gatherings to get work done.
We’ve talked about it, but he thinks I’m being bratty and says I get to see my folks a lot, and he doesnt get to see his family a lot, so we should spend more time there when we can.
Post # 7
Fiance doesn’t like to spend much time with my family (though I totally understand, they’re low-dose). I try to get in a couple of solo trips every now and then to get quality Mom & Me time 🙂