(Closed) Time spent with family

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: How much time do you think should be spent with your in-laws (or in-laws to be)?
    Once a week or more : (12 votes)
    9 %
    One weekend a month : (37 votes)
    28 %
    Every few months : (31 votes)
    23 %
    Holidays or special family events : (22 votes)
    16 %
    If they lived closer we would see them more often : (26 votes)
    19 %
    We see them too much : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I voted one weekend a month, because that is about how often we see them, BUT we live almost 1.5 hours away. I’m sure we would see them more often if we were closer, and that would be fine too.

    But yes, your FI’s family is being rude and demanding to expect that! When FI’s family visits us, it is usually for one day, and they never ASK to stay, only when we invite them overnight.

    When we visit them, we usually stay 1-2 days.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1082 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    .. way too much!

    DH family lives four hours away. We see them every few months plus on special occassions.

    When we see them, we make a weekend of it. It is more special that way.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t know.  The poll asks about OUR families, but we can’t say what is right for you and yours/ what is right for ours is not what is right for yours.

    I would tell your SO/ designate some jobs for him to when they are coming- like he is in charge of 1 meal or doing the laundry for them, or whatever works for you.  Just communicate about it.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    2876 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @chacomom:  eek. every weekend?! thats a lot. id say once a month. preferably less, but if theyre used to every weekend i think thats the most youd get it reduced to without hard feelings. i do think you should spend some weekends alone with your husband!

    can you alternate visits…spend some time in their house so you arent hosting?

    edit – thinking about it, i cant see any way on earth that you can reduce it without hard feelings. good luck with that :S

    my parents live in uk (and we’re in emxico) so once a year. his parents are 4 hours drive away so around once every 6weeks/2 months

    Post # 7
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I don’t know about “should.” Every family is different, but I think whatever arrangement you have has to work for everyone. Cutting back from every weekend to once a month seems reasonable to me. My family lives about 2 hours away and we tend to see them every month or two, although more in the fall because we have a ton of birthdays then. If they lived in the same town we might see them weekly, but not like for the whole weekend.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7872 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Every weekend… that’s insane. But you mustn’t say anything to the in-laws. It has to be your husband who handles his own parents, saying they can’t come every weekend.

    When we first married it was every few weeks, though we lived close enough there was never any staying over.

    Post # 9
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Every weekend is just crazy.  Does your husband like the frequency of visits, or is he with you on wanting to cut back?

    My ILs are about 2 hours away and we see them every other month or so, plus holidays and special occasions.  My family is 8 hours away and we see them 3-4 times a year.

    Post # 10
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I wish we could spend more time with our families, but we live 100 miles away from our hometown, so we really only get to see them once a month or so! 

    Having to host people in your house every weekend sounds exhausting to me! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    550 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I see ours almost once a week when we go to Sunday lunch at their house, but I don’t go every week. I like them, so it’s fine with me.

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    3376 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We see his dad’s side a lottt and I love spending time with them. Usually once a month if we can. His mom’s side I’ve never actually met, and we only see his mom twice a year since she lives 4 hours away and refuses to drive here. -_-

    Post # 13
    Member
    6746 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My FI’s family lives two hours away and we try to go for every 3 day weekend, some weekends (we’ll leave directly after work on Fri and drive to work on Mon morning, so we really get the full weekend), we go on Thanksgiving weekend and Christmas sometimes for the full week til New Years. We try to go as often as we can, I love going there, it’s always a blast.

    Even if they lived closer, we wouldn’t be seeing them EVERY weekend.  That’s just absurd.  We have lives outside of our families, too.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I absolutely refuse to see either his or my family more often than once a week. In the end, people end up seeing us one every few months or so and leaves us having to see someone or another multiple fricken times a week. I cannot stand it. I cannot wait to move farther away again. I want my weekends back.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9236 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Woah, every weekend is WAY too much!  I would say every month or so if you live 2 hours away.  We only see my future in laws 3 to 5 times a year and it’s definitely not enough – I love them so much.

    Post # 16
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Oh god, every weekend! I’d rather eat glass. Once a month and special events.

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