(Closed) Time together before engagement- what's the norm in your circle?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
2081 posts
Buzzing bee

Early 30s, I would say 3 – 4 years for couples that met mid 20s and are already married and its starting to crunch down to 2 – 3 years for those that are left.  I think an engagement is in the cards for me at a bit less than two years.   


Post # 32
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

NJ here, friends are in late 20s to early and mid 30s…we tend to get married later here. Most couples are together at least a year and a half to three years before getting married. The older you are, the faster the engagement typically. My fiance and I met when we were 28 and 29, engaged at 30 and 32, and will be married at 31 and 33. My clock was ticking and I was going nuts waiting!! No kids until after marriage.

Post # 33
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

your age range: mid-late 20s.

your location: central PA

average timeline for an engagement: surprisingly long!  5+ years at least, in a few cases 8 or 9.  Now, most of the couples I know (including my own relationship) met pretty young, late teens or first year or 2 of college, so some length of time is expected b/c a couple of 21 year olds getting married would be pretty heavily judged.  A lot of my social circle is taking a long time to get off the ground in terms of finishing higher ed (a lot are currently in/recently finished some form of grad school) and establishing financial stability, and that’s holding a lot of them back from making things official with their long term SOs.  To counter, I also know a few couples that ran to the alter (like first date to wedding day was less than a year) because they were turning 30 and I guess felt ‘the clock’ tickning?  IDK.  But they’re not the norm.

Post # 34
4615 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
tabbytren:  Yay!  I love seeing other couples who met young, but didn’t rush to get married 🙂

Post # 35
12 posts

Average Age Range:  Mid-Late 20s.  I found that more uneducated couples married earlier (early 20s); more educated couples married later.  This is not an insult, only an observation. 

Location: New England.

Average timeline for an Engagement: 1.5 to 3 years.  Dating for 3-4 years after high school was a big thing, but most of these couples didn’t end up married.   It seemed that most people in my circle found their partners around age 25-26, and got engaged/married around 28.  


I’m 29, and a few people around me now are getting engaged/married.  There definitely seemed to be a “bell curve”, with age 28 being around average age of engagement in my circle. 

Post # 36
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We and our friends are 30-35

We live an hour west of Toronto, ON

Average timeline for an engagement in my social circles seems to be anywhere from 1-3 years.

Generally, I feel like if you met while you were in your 30s, it seems to speed up the process a lot more.  DH was 29 when we met and I was about to turn 31.  He proposed a year after we started dating and we were married a year later and nobody voiced any concerns or felt it was too fast if that helps any.

Post # 37
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My age 24 fiance 28

Kansas City Kansas Metro area 

We were together a year and a  half or so, most people our age tend to get engaged around the 1-2 year mark now that they are out of college or have somewhat of a career started

I also have friends that have been together longer that aren’t engaged that I sort of don’t see ever actually getting married but will probably break up eventually? Maybe something could change and they do marry but one or both don’t really seem to want to take that step while sometimes the other one is really pushing for it. Or I have some friends that are happily together and genuinely not interested in the idea of marriage entirely. 

Post # 38
26 posts

Area: Southeastern Virginia

Age: mid 20s

it seems that a lot of girls I knew in high school got pregnant shortly after graduating, and some are now getting married and some are still single. Friends that I went to college with are now starting to get married.  I’m not sure how long they were together though, I was only with my Fiance for about 6 months before we got engaged. Most people I know it has been about 1 to 2 years 

Post # 39
95 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
educ8nc: I’m in Western NC too. I’m in my early 30’s. 

About half my classmates got married or engaged pretty soon after high school graduation. The other half waited till the summer after college. Everyone I know from NC is long married and most have school age children. 

I have lots of friends from all over the country that I met at an old job and most of them get married at around 30. I think it’s the industry though (stagnant wages) and it has taken longer for these guys to feel that they can afford to get married and support a family. 

Post # 40
559 posts
Busy bee

Early 20’s from Ontario Canada. Most of my friends are not engaged but the ones that are are the ones who’ve been dating for 4+ years.

Post # 41
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Age: mid- late 20s

Area: Australia

A lot of my friends have been in relationships for between 4-8 years and most including me are still not engaged lol. We all think one will do it and then the rest will follow.

Post # 42
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

There’s been quite a range among my circle – UK based. There was a clustering of weddings about a year or two ago and for them the ladies were late 20s and theit FHs early 30s. Think average time to engagement got them varied a lot – 2-7 years. My Fiance and are are around same ages but we met later than these other couples and we were together 4.5 years before we became officially engaged.

Post # 43
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey

Mid 20s

A northern city in the UK

Most of my friendship circle are A-type career focussed personalities and due to the nature of our vocation we have to move around the country alot, so only a few of my friends are in stable relationships, and even fewer of those are in ‘serious’ relationships with the view of getting married to that person. So many of us won’t get married until our late 20s – early 30s+. It is a real possibility that my SO and I may be the first to get married amongst any of them, but I also have another friend who is christian and one of those ‘serious’ types so maybe her! 

Post # 44
564 posts
Busy bee

View original reply

My age is early twenties, but most of my friends are in mid to late twenties

I live in Texas

The funny thing is I complain so much about waiting (We’ve been together 6 years+) but my closest friends are either in long term relationships and not engaged as well (5-7 years) or not in a relationship at all, except for one of my friends who got engaged last year, but they had been together around 6 years. 

HOWEVER, everyone else around me (acquaintances) it seems like ONE YEAR is the magic number and THAT is annoying lol.

Post # 45
1319 posts
Bumble bee

Early 20’s

South Texas

2ish years but everyone usually starts living together early in the relationship 

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