I’m prolly gonna get chewed out for going in this direction but….
…Is there an incentive for him to put his phone down/step away from the computer/not spend time w his brothers?
Is he bored with alone time between you two alone?
Are you bringing something to the table that is fun to do/interesting to discuss/exciting to enjoy together….or are you just saying put the phone down and spend time with me because you’re married to me and that’s what I want, so that’s what you should want too?
If you’re sitting around waiting for him to “spend time with you”, and aren’t cultivating a personality of your own that contributes to the relationship, that may leave nothing to discuss, nothing fun to do etc.
The Fiance sits next to me playing video games as I type this. Tues and Thurs are video game nights where he n his buddies play online. This means I either busy myself with hanging with friends, reading books, going to the gym, catching up on my netflix shows and wedding stuff etc. This gives us something to talk about on other nights.
We do a mix of planned activities with others (so you could actually plan a fun activity w his brothers instead of finding yourself on opposite sides…like laser tag or Dave and Busters??) and we do a weekly date night out. But the weekly date night isn’t just us sitting across the table going ‘sooo…how was your week?”
Sometimes we go find a place with cool live music, we do a pub crawl, we even take the crayons they put down to draw on at the restaurant on placements, and we play hangman through out dinner or pictionary.
These are ideas to keep things fun and interesting…when you were dating, you probably did a bunch of fun stuff while still maintaining independence. Sometimes that goes away with marriage. The point is to keep things spontaneous, fun, and exciting….incentivize each other to have fun spending time together. Eventually you’ll both be having so much fun, you won’t even remember to look at your phones.