Timeline

posted 2 weeks ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
645 posts
Busy bee

Maybe he thinks you’d like a holiday proposal?

I never gave my (now husband) an exact deadline but I basically said look we need to get going on this shit. He proposed about 4 months later, and would have sooner, but there was a huge kerfuffle with the ring so it took longer. 

Post # 4
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

When was the last time you talked to him about it? 

At the beginning of this year I had a little bit of hysterical moment and finally set a timeline with my fiancé we had been dating for almost 5 years at that point and I had had it. We set a timeline for by the end of the summer (August 31st) and I told myself I would be quiet until then because I had gotten my point across. He ended bringing it back up in May to look for rings and proposed at the end of July. 

You got a timeline so have faith that he will stick to it and start coming up with a plan if he doesn’t. 

Post # 6
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

waiting1218 :  I think the main thing there is that I convinced myself that he would be proposing on august 31st and no sooner because I would drive myself nuts trying to guess when otherwise 

Post # 7
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I had a timeline with an ex. He ended up proposing near the end of the timeline. He felt super pressured and the engagement fell apart.

How did your guy respond to the idea of a timeline? Was he enthused? If he has been fine with it, I would trust him.

 

Post # 8
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee

waiting1218 :  Well maybe you should resign yourself to it not happening, but more importantly you should consider what you will do if he doesn’t propose. 

Post # 9
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I had to ask hubby if I ever did this because I sincerely didn’t remember, hahaha. Apparently, I did xD

Seems I told my husband he had two years to propose to me (or I would propose to him -an idea he totally hated). I believe that was sometime around 2014, and he ended up proposing on NYE 2014-2015 He intentionally waited that long in order to get the ring, plan the proposal and wait for the cliche date I had hinted at 😉

 

Post # 10
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper

waiting1218 :  

He told me he would never do a holiday proposal (Christmas included)

What could this possibly be about  do you think ? I mean it makes no sense at all does it ?   I’m genuinely curious to know  what ‘reason’ he offers  for being afraid/reluctant/adamant about proposing  during  holiday weeks. Do weekends count as holidays ? 

If a man wants to marry he’ll propose as soon as he knows he is ready.  Or (or better, I think)  the two of you agree  you want to get married,  you choose a ring   and he gives it to you as soon as he has it .

Post # 13
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

The best advice I can give you is to set a ‘walk date’, I know it sounds extreme but it’s a way of promising yourself that if you aren’t getting what you want in a relationship (a proposal) you don’t let the years just pass you by while you hang around and wait for a proposal that may never come. Many bees on here will tell you that they waited years in vain and ended up having to put themselves first and know when it’s time to go, which is no bad thing. If your guy is reluctant to propose and isn’t meeting your timeline that you set, you have to think about why he isn’t proposing. A man that wants to marry you will and unfortunately that’s the sad truth of it. What you need to determine is what you’re going to do about it to take control of your life, 6.5 years is no small amount of time and you don’t want to be in the position where you end up ‘waiting away’ all of your 20’s.

Post # 14
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

He doesn’t want to propose on a holiday in case you guys break up? Why propose at all if he foresees you guys breaking up? Maybe that’s his hold up, he’s not sure if the two of you will be together forever. In which case it’s smart to not propose. What’s not smart or kind is stringing you along for so long, instead of being upfront about his reasoning for not proposing.

Yes, you gave him a year to propose, but to wait until the very end of that year, especially after over 6 years together, is pretty ridiculous. If you see someone you love hurting, you don’t intentionally wait for no good reason. Also, if he doesn’t want to propose on a holiday, you know what he could have done? Proposed in any of the other ELEVEN MONTHS in the year.

At this point, if I were in your position, I don’t know if I’d even say yes if he DID propose before the end of the year. He doesn’t seem to have much consideration for you. I seriously doubt he will end up proposing, though. In which case, you have to decide what you’ll do. I believe it’ll come down to you either walking away, or you accepting that you may never get married. Personally, I’d have already walked by now, but no one can make your decision for you.

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