Timeline

posted 10 months ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

When a guy who previously said “I don’t want to get married” gives you a timeline and waits until the very last moment to say anything, if he says anything…….you need to be suspicious and you need to plan an exit.  Open your eyes and see things for what they are not what you want them to be.

Edit: Just saw your update.  Bee he could be the greatest guy in the world and that doesn’t mean he’s the right one for you.  I know its hard to hear but you are not the one he wants to marry or he would’ve proposed by now and he would’ve cared enough to give you some reassurance that it was going to happen.

Post # 17
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Could he be throwing you off with “never a holiday proposal”? My ex said the same thing and he proposed on Christmas Eve. 

 

Post # 19
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I’ll say the same thing I’ve said before several times to “waiting” bees. By the time you have gotten to this point of resentment, getting that proposal isn’t going to fix things or make you feel valued. No one should have to feel like they’re dragging a man to the altar and I think at this point, that’s what is does and is going to feel like. You’ve been together for over 6 years. He’s had plenty of time to decide whether being married to you is the life he wants or not. His inaction has spoken loud and clear on that front.

I’m sorry. This sucks, but I think you need to honestly ask yourself if you’ll actually be happy if he were to propose to you the day he gets back on the 18th. Will you be overjoyed and excited to start planning your wedding and your life together? Or will you feel like you finally “won” a fight you shouldn’t have had to fight in the first place?

Post # 23
Member
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

waiting1218 :  Girl, my ex of nearly 10 years would often say things like “I don’t want to get married” or “I don’t believe in marriage or happiness” just obvious shit like that.  My mindset at the time was “If I show him all this love and loyalty and remain consistent, I will change his mind”…..(inhale) Yeah NO!  I did that for nearly 10 YEARS!  I had to have my “break” moment to finally let go of that dude.  

Most of us have been there bee.  We get the whole “rose colored” thing which is why we were telling you to walk away in your previous post.  You aren’t stupid, you just need your “break moment”, that moment when the light bulb goes off and you just realize how exhausted you are single handedly trying to keep the relationship afloat and you’re just……done.  If Jan 1 becomes your break moment, so be it bee.  I can guarantee that you will in a serious world of hurt but I can also guarantee that you will get over it.  You will find someone excited to marry you bee……I promise.

Post # 24
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

waiting1218 :  so what will you do if he actually does propose? If you’re only sticking around long enough to “justify” it? Will you accept the proposal? 

Post # 25
Member
6397 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

OP, you are already saying that even if he does propose, he has waited until the eleventh hour and caused so much pain that there might be no coming back from this. Why even wait it out? He has had over SIX YEARS to propose to you, you finally set a timeline, and now he waits until that is almost run out, too. Even if he does propose, it is clear he isn’t in any hurry to get married. I’d cut my losses, accept the reality and move on.

Post # 27
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

waiting1218 :  sorry. Clearly my last response came off judgy. Totally not how I meant it. 

Post # 30
Member
8254 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

waiting1218 :  

“..accept the fact unfortunately it’s me”. No, not you OP , him., You know that and we all do too. I think he wore your love out . 

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