Timeline

posted 4 months ago in Waiting
Post # 46
Member
45 posts
Newbee

waiting1218 :  

I posted here months ago (you can search for my post under my username). Basically my boyfriend promised he would propose this year/by Dec 31st and if he doesn’t I’m walking.

I don’t know if he will propose over Christmas or by end of year but I am hopeful.

Post # 48
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

waiting1218 :  ugh it’s a crappy situation, right? I am in a similar situation. He had until Christmas 2018 firm deadline because I need time to plan (I’m finishing up my doctorate right now so I’m busy most of the time). I am suspicious that it will happen on the 22nd for many reasons. I was frustrated that he is pushing up against the deadline, but if I am rigid with my timeline, I need to be flexible with his timing. 

Post # 49
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

waiting1218 :  You said “i honestly feel like sometimes people don’t understand what it’s like to be in this kind of position where you have shared your life with someone for six years, you are now in your late 20s and are in this predicament. Do you throw all that away when otherwise the relationship is good? Do you remain cautiously optimistic like I have?”

Just wanted to say that I understand…I’ll have been with my boyfriend for 5 years in January, and I’m 34. You are lucky in that if you do walk away, you still have many prime years ahead of you. But I feel the same way…I am happy in our relationship and he’s a great guy, and I really enjoy our life together. Do I throw that all away because the only thing bothering me is that he’s not proposing? Anyway, I feel you, and I’m wishing you good luck for a proposal soon!

Post # 51
Member
8 posts
Newbee

@waiting1218 – i really hope you get a suprise proposal. I am 31 and waiting 6.5 years. A little different though as i have not talked to him about it becuase for so long he was ‘never getting married again.’ At some point this summer he told my mother and SIL that he was goign to do it but jsut didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes (brother got married to SIL last month). So now that there is nothing holding him back, he’s been making some positive marriage comments and some negative. Everyone thinks it’s to thro wme off. 

 

Maybe we both will get our proposals and looking back it will be they were just trying to keep the suprise!! Here’s to you!!

Post # 53
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

I am going to tread lightly with saying this…but the “timeline” thing to me sort of takes away from the beauty of it all. I get not wanting to be dating someone forever with no marriage, but I kinda feel like saying “I expect a proposal by this (date,year,month)” takes away from the act itself. That’s just me though. 

Post # 54
Member
2331 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

sallyloves90 :  Well one partner does not wholly *own* the relationship progression!  The decision to marry should not be a unilateral one. Thus it’s important to speak up as she did!  The expected “proposal” she is waiting for is actually only symbolic at this point.  If one partner has given the other partner a time request,  they have essentially proposed/asked for marriage from them already! They’re now simply waiting for the other partners agreement. A”faux-posal” in return essentially… 

Post # 55
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

mrstodd2bee :  I see what you’re saying but….if one partner is waiting on the other to propose ( a proposal being the final indication that you are going to get married) then you are putting the relationship progression in their hands. Why does anyone even need a formal proposal? Why not just mutually decide, pick out a ring together, pick out a date etc. I guess I don’t know why it has to be a big moment that one person has to plan out and make special, instead of it just being something you can do together. I don’t get the waiting around for one big moment that brings it all together. Again, just my opinion and not saying I am right. 

Post # 56
Member
2509 posts
Sugar bee

mrstodd2bee :  Precisely. And this is why I roll my eyes when I hear that the man needs more time to make it a super special surprise. There is absolutely nothing surprising about a fauxposal.

sallyloves90 :   Actually waiting for a protracted period of time and hoping for a proposal takes away from the act itself.

 

Post # 59
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m not sure if you guys live together now, but if you do it may be worth getting your ducks in a row regards somewhere else to live/stay for a while if he doesn’t propose by New Year’s. It will be tremendously upsetting for you and you will want some time/space to think about what to do next.

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