Timeline

posted 12 months ago in Waiting
Post # 61
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

waiting1218 :  I’m sorry Bee..

So what’s the plan?

Did you actually give him a walk date?  

I would be having a conversation on the phone while he’s out of town and ask what happened to the timeline.

Unless the answer is something like “I’m making a ring and it got delayed, picking it up next week, so sorry for making you wait!” I would move out while he’s away..

Do you rent or own?  Who is on the lease and when is it

up?

Post # 62
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

abnihon :  this! He still has today and tomorrow (although a bit insulting to leave it last minute) but I would be moving on Dec 27 if no ring materialized before he left.  I would let him know it will be happening too just as he was walking out the door so he could “enjoy” his work trip, cuz I’m a biotch like that lol. 

Post # 64
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

waiting1218 :  let him know end of Jan is your walk date and you won’t sign a new lease without a ring.

I had a friend in the exact situation at your age and told him exactly that.  He let her walk.  

A few months later she met her husband on match, got engaged at about a year in and now have two beautiful children.  That could be you!!!

Post # 65
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

waiting1218 :  I’m sorry. I think it’s good that he will be away so you can think more clearly.

How long does it take to find an apartment at where you live? I’d communicate that you are looking to move apart since it’s not progressing in a way that works for you.

Post # 67
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

waiting1218 :  If you were my friend, I would say that January and the lease being up is a natural break in your relationship and that you should use this as an opportunity to get your own place and focus on you. It’s either that or you keep going with this guy who is not respecting you.

Post # 69
Member
769 posts
Busy bee

waiting1218 :  I’m so sorry Bee. It’s so so shitty, and I know the day that’s in it only makes it worse. Try to be happy with/for your friend. It’s not her fault. But please also see this for what it is. Like you say she got her surprise proposal.. If a mans wants to propose, he will do it. Don’t wait anymore expecting a Man to give you something he clearly does not want to give. It’s only waiting in vain and will only hurt you more in the long run, and waste your time.

Try to forget it about it all for a few days – but remeber your hurt and frustation and stand up for yourself. Honestly, you deserve to get what you want – but you have to stop expecting it from a man who doesn’t want it also. 

Happy Christmas.. please try and salvage some fun out of the day for yourself. 

Post # 70
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

waiting1218 :  have some self love, respect and leave. Take control of your future and don’t wait for it to happen. Don’t you want to own it? You have sat around being miserable long enough. At some point it’s on your too. It’s hard but do what makes you proud. 

ETA: you don’t owe him a walk date. I am sure he’s aware of your feelings.

Post # 71
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

I am sorry your Xmas did not go as you deserved.  If it makes you feel better, either did mine.  I was also told it would happen this year.  I knew yesterday was the last chance because he has a family wedding this weekend and he would never do it then.  I was sad about it but I agree with the others.  If they are the guy for us, they would want to marry us.  If not, well then we deserve better.  I would rather know now that he makes empty promises, than later when we are married. I am sure seeing your friend get engaged just made you sick, I know that feeling as well.  All of my friends are married now and I am happy for them but it does make you feel worse about yourself.  I like what someone said above about meeting a guy on match and one year later how fast your life can change.  That is so true. I have many friends in their late 40’s falling in love and getting married.  It’s never too late. Stay strong and tell yourself it will all work out how it is supposed to.   

Post # 72
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

First your friend needs your support. I had a good friend who shit all over everyone for 3 months after her boyfriend dumped her when she thought he was going to propose. She actually said to her best friend who was getting married that it should have been her…. and two of her friends got engaged and she said the same kind of things. It was super selfish and tacky. It sucks but do your best to put on a happy face for them. It will go along way in making them feel supported and want to support what your going through in return. 

Look here is the deal. He said he didn’t want to get married WHILE HE WAS DATING YOU. There is no- he didn’t say he didn’t want to marry me, or, he said it generally speaking, or any other excuses you want to come up with. He meant it when he said it, he meant it ABOUT YOU SPECIFICALLY. There is no way to excuse his words. It’s a really hard lesson to learn, but you listen to people when they speak. You take them at their word. If he said he didn’t want to be married than you walk away, at the start. You don’t put in years of time waiting for someone to change who they are. 

The writing is on the wall here. He didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. So you do not resign you lease, you get out. And date people who want what you want. You’ll be fine as long as you move on and learn for next time 

 

waiting1218 :  

Post # 75
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry bee, that is really hard. Sorry she isn’t being more sensitive because it looks like you really tried to meet her half way. 

Any updates on your plan moving forward with your boyfriend? Has he stepped up? Or are you going to not resign your lease and move out? 

 

waiting1218 :  

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