Post # 1
This is my first post! I have been a long-time reader of the weddinbee website and I am really excited (and nervous) to finally join it and start my own board! With that being said I kind of need some help. I got engaged at the end of February of this year (2017). I am unsure of where to really go from here in terms of building a timeline for the events that should follow!
I know the basic things that need to happen:
But, what are your timelines? By the time I get married I will have had a 15 month engagement (if that helps). So, I’m 3 months in and we just booked a venue! Now that that huge part is out of the way I want to get the ball rolling on the events I am in charge of !
I basically have three in-state and three out-of-state bridesmaids and that poses a bit of a problem with planning events. I know they probably won’t be able to come to the majority of the events and I was wondering if anyone had a similar situation with their maids? How did you go about dealing with this? I definitely would NEVER want to stress anyone out and make them feel like anything is required! It’s a blessing they will even be able to make it for the big day! But, I was thinking for the bachelorette party maybe I could make it close to the wedding so that they could attend both?
Also, I wanted to do the engagement party sometime in July; This month would be too soon to send invites due to financial reasons as we just put down a large sum of money for the venue deposit and one of my cousins is having a wedding in June and I would not want to intervene in her time! The only issue with July is that my Maid/Matron of Honor will be going away the entire month and I would feel terrible if she couldn’t come! So should I push it to August? Is that too long after our engagement to still host a party? Also, how many people should we invite to the engagement party? I am so oblivious to everything lol!
Any timeline ideas would be more than welcomed!
You can also give me ideas of what you did for any of these events!
Also, if there are any other events I am forgetting please remind me lol!
Also, if you have done all these events or have planned them already I would love to see what you did and when you did everything!
Thank you so much for any and all replies
Post # 2
You don’t need to worry about any of the events listed. The engagement party is traditionally thrown by the bride’s parents, the bridal shower and bachelorette will be thrown and planned by your bridesmaids/maid of honor, and the rehearsal dinner is hosted by the groom’s parents.
Post # 3
I think it’s already a bit too late for an engagement party. Typically engagement parties celebrate the engagement, but you’ve already been engaged for 3 months. By July it will have been 5.
Usually someone will offer to throw you a shower. You may be involved with the planning if the host asks you to be. Showers usually happen within a few months of the wedding.
Your bridesmaids should talk to you about their plans for the bachelorette party and they may or may not ask for your input in the planning. Again, these usually happen within a few months of the wedding.
Your fiancé’s family would traditionally plan the rehearsal dinner. You can check with them to see if they are planning on that, and if not you could go ahead and plan that yourself. You could start planning it as early as you think you need to to reserve the venue/caterer or whatever other venues you think you need. Rehearsals run the gamut in terms of fanciness and expense. Some people host a pizza party at their home, some opt for a multi-course meal at a nice restaurant. It’s really up to the host to determine what kind of party they want to throw.
Post # 4
Thank you for the response! I think I am worrying about the events that are “traditionally” thrown by the bride or groom’s parents because our parents don’t really know the customs of the United States… so I have honestly seen no kind of movement when it comes to those things on their part or offering any kind of help; which is fine. I feel it will be left to us lol.
Post # 5
Thank you for your advice! I agree I thought that July would be really late too. I feel like I should have a small engagement party and for us to host it ourselves as something informal… Maybe like a backyard type of thing 20 guests max invited (immediate family and bridal party). That way I could swing the party fast and just have people who live close by invited? I have a nice backyard with a gazebo so I feel like it could be decorated well and we could have like a BBQ. My mom and my fiance’s parents don’t really know about the way these traditions work. So, I guess after waiting it seemed like everything will just be left to us to do ourselves in terms of engagement party and rehearsal lol. That’s a good idea though with the rehearsal to be less formal too… that way we might save some money
Thanks for your help!
Post # 6
I mean, you know you don’t actually need any of these events, right? They are by no means compulsory and I’d say most people don’t have all of them.
If you want an engagement party I agree you should do that ASAP. Like in the next few weeks. Your small gazebo bbq idea sounds really nice. A bachelorette can be quite close to the wedding, my friend had hers 2 days before so interstate friends could attend. Showers aren’t really a thing where I live so I don’t know about that, but I gather you shouldn’t be involved anyway. And a rehearsal dinner would obviously be held after you rehearse the ceremony, likely within a week of the wedding.
Post # 7
Yeah, I started looking at other boards for ideas regarding the engagement party timeframe and it occurred to me that it is actually avoidable as you say. I do have one bridesmaid asking me when it is and when I plan to do everything which is what made me decide to finally post on the weddingbee site because I got a little overwhelmed by the constant questioning. But, I think I will do the backyard small party! Thanks for the advice 🙂
Technically, I shouldn’t say its been three months because we got engaged at the very end of February. I feel like if I make the party end of May/ beginning of June it won’t be soo late. Especially considering how intimate I am thinking it’s going to be – less of an engagement party more of a gathering if that makes any sense?