Post # 1
I wrote M this email today and I feel awesome about it…
I have been thinking… I don’t think it’s fair to you that I set a date of December 31, 2010 for us to be proposed. I know you probably didn’t pay any attention either way. I don’t want us to be one of “those” couples either that have been living together for 3 or 4 years and not able to talk about being married. I want to be your wife and am willing to wait on you to decide that you want me as your wife (or whatever it is that men do before they propose I have no idea lol). Just know that I’d like about 2-4 months to plan and order things that will need to be ordered and go with a coordinating theme, book places and vendors etc. Other than that, it’s your world.. Have fun and please don’t make me wait to long 🙂 I love you so much and am going stir crazy not being able to say you’re my husband (eee that’s the first time i have ever typed those two words together). I hope you are having a great day.
I feel so liberated now!!! it’s totally up to him and i cannot honestly imaging leaving him because he hasn’t asked, i mean what if something happened to the ring and i left?! that would be soo awful, you know?!
Post # 3
Did you SEND this to him? May I ask what prompted you to email this to him? Did you have a recent conversation about the December 2010 “deadline” or was it a mental one you had?
I’m just asking!!! I know if I had sent something like this to Mr. RB he would have been totally blindsighted by it… I’d get a “WTF” as a response lol.
On a side note: I know you guys met online, do you find it easier to communicate via email? Mr. RB & I are LDR and we met online… sometimes if something is really difficult to bring up we do it via IM! lol we’ll have to cope once we live together…
Post # 4
I think its great that you wrote him that email. It takes off some of the pressure and if you had given him a date to be engaged by it might not have gone over so well. For me personally, if I had done that and we did get engaged by that date I would always wonder if he REALLY wanted to be engaged or only did it so he wouldnt lose but (but wouldve asked later)
Did he write back?
Post # 5
Good for you for taking charge while simultaneously releasing control… I didn’t even know you could accomplish both at once 😉
It sounds like you two can have really honest discussions, and that’s FABULOUS!
Wish I knew how to articulate my thoughts to the boy quite so well, but, alas, they just fly around my head and make me bounce off the walls.
Post # 6
I think that was a fabulous way to take back *control* (or at least quasi-control) of a situation that was driving you crazy because you had no control! Wait . . . did that make sense?!?
Post # 8
@RB: I had an epiphany!! Since the IUD has been out I have been able to just think and reflect and I was like whoa ummm I’m not leaving him lol.. If we’re together like a loong time and we’re still not engaged I’d definitely tell him hey this isn’t working, what’s going on but that’s about it. We always discuss it and this month has been full of I think you’re going to do it next year, blah blah blah… I think seeing my ex-fiance sparked all of this retreating on my part. i pushed that poor guy into proposing and he is totally not the one for me, at all. and i know that M is. I want him to be ready and for it to be on his terms. now in a few years if we need to have a discussion then we can but it will be both of us not just me going hey this is the day… even though we did discuss it last year and he agreed that we’ll be engaged by 2011… i think within the last few months he said we’d be married within 18 months so we’ll see.. and as far as the email, we email text and chat all the time lol… we can be in the next room or on the couch texting and giggling and flirting, it’s just our thing. he’s at work right now as well and i know that he will check it and see it and think it’s cool.
@naangel55: nah he didn’t write back he usually just laughs at these emails (especially the proposal related ones) but he’s not allowed to use his phone at work and if he saw it and it didn’t require a response he won’t respond, we’ll have a quick convo that goes something like this when he gets off…
me: so did you see the email
me: what’d you think
him: laughing i wasn’t paying attention to your timeline anyway, you’re not going anywhere. i won’t let you
me: i knew you were going to say that..
him: what’s for dinner….
@mswhiskers and a fish: i agree that i took control by relinquishing control… lol that’s such a me thing to do.. lol i’m boinkers!!!
Post # 9
Very cute… my BF would react the same way! Half the time he doesn’t say anything about the emails I send him, (due to MY christmas challenge.) So who knows what he’s thinking!
Post # 10
Go you! You definitely have more “balls” than i do lol!!
Post # 11
Good for you! You are going to feel sooo much better when the time comes now!
Post # 12
I love the email! I’m so glad that you sent it and hopefully you’ll feel more relaxed. I have to tell you that I had been harassing my now-hubby for a while to find out when he was going to get around to proposing. Easter morning 2008 (the day we were engaged) I was on my way to his house when I called to tell him that I was going to stop bothering him and that I loved him and was willing to wait for his timeline no matter when it was. Turns out he had been planning to propose that day and my phone call helped seal the deal!
Post # 13
Him:Whats for dinner….?!?! lol. That cracks me up! I’m so glad you got that of your chest.
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
That’s a great email. And yay for prioritizing being with the person you love over getting engaged by a certain date. 😉
Post # 15
fantastic email! and what a way to regain control of yourself in the process. and hey, maybe it’ll have a fantastic unintended effect of speeding up the proposal! you never can know with boys. LOL
Post # 16
@waterprincess: yeah christmas challenge.. i think i spoke less about it before i did the christmas challenge than now!!! luckily for him it’s my favorite time of the year and i have little reason to even bring it up lol…
@honeybear: lol well it was really bothering me about the deadline, etc as you could sort of tell from posts… i definitely want him to feel no pressure but in the same breath he needs to understand that we cannot be together forever because i want to be his wife.