- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
Originally when I blurted out (drunk, ungraceful, totally inapropriate) “When the hell are we going to talk about getting married!” (after which I burst into tears) my SO was super receptive to talking about the situation. He told me that he was 100% sure that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life, however he had never really thought about marriage. He said that he had always just assumed that we would be that rad old common law couple (we’re kind of off beat, and I have several aunts in 30+ year unmarried relationships so this isn’t uncommon for my family). I said that I thought that at first too, but that working in the wedding industry (photog) I found that marriage was important to me. He told me that he understood, and would need some time to get his head around what being officially married would mean.
Durring another conversation a while back my SO said something about being engaged by the end of this year. We had also talked casually about a Sept 2012 wedding, and being engaged for at least a year. I therefore kind of assumed that meant engaged by the end of the summer as with labor day weekend comes my birthday, and a huge party that we throw every year, then the following weekend is our anniversary, for which this year we’re going on vacation with my family. So there are big things coming up two weeks in a row. However I once mentioned that I’d want to go take a look at rings with him before he made any decisions, and he said that was fine. He’s never brough it up again. I’m begining to think that my September assumption was wrong.
So, I’ve put a mental ban on brining up any talk till after the vacation in Septemeber because I don’t want to put pressure on him. I’ve been worries since day one that if I bring the whole think up too much when he finally does feel like the time is right I’ll feel like I pressured him into it. I really don’t want a marriage with that hanging over my head. However, I’m starting to feel like I need an answer relatively soon, so I need to approach the subject at some point. I love him the very most, I just kind of hate the city that we’re living in for his career, and I can’t do it forever if I don’t have some sort of commitment that this relationship is actually going to take the dirrection I need it to. I kind of have it in my head that if something hasn’t transpired by early next year that I might have to start considering tapping out. Is that fair of me? I feel super guilty having this in my head at all, but would obviously never say it out loud as that would be giving him an ultimatum. The whole situation is driving me nuts. I was so over for a while too!! arghh!