(Closed) Timeline Update

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

First of all, big hugs to you!!

I have had the years (prior to meeting my SO) to establish my career, and although there were of course the moments where I felt like I was behind some of my closest friends in terms of getting married and starting a family, I was super content and used those years to run a lot of marathons, obtain professional certifications, and just develop as a person in so many areas.  That said, it is a weird feeling to realize that you do care about the softer things in life when you start out thinking you’ll be fine focusing on professional goals first, but I know exactly what you mean.

My SO is extremely sure that he intends to marry me, and we both own our own homes and have good jobs.  Yet, when we discuss all the things that need to be figured out (logistics of finishing his house, renting out my house, etc.) he quickly gets very overwhelmed because it feels like so much pressure to make everything happen now.  I cannot NOT think of life in the long term, checklist of things to be accomplished fashion, and he prefers to believe things will work themselves out.  We’re learning a lot about each other in working through how we handle long-term planning! So, I’d say your SO sounds quite normal in finding the whole topic to be somewhat anxiety-producing.  The finality of having to truly carry responsiblity and address the details is something that is very frightening to a lot of men!

And, just writing it all out SOOO helps, doesn’t it?  I’m glad you had a solid discussion about it all, and I hope that this is an area that he can grow to understand your fears in, while becoming more comfortable with the topic and growing to feel excited about it!

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