(Closed) Timeline update: Part II

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SusieInTheSunshine:  I think you need to be upfront, then. My SO was concerned (he wanted it all to be a surprise, no ring shopping together, no timelines, etc) so it can be all romantic, blah blah blah, and I said, no, it can be a surprise. I will give you ring options, you can choose in the end, you decide what day to propose and how, but it has to happen before a certain prediscussed period (say, by the end of 2012). It could be tomrrow, it could be New Year’s Eve, for example. I am not going to wake up every day going “IS THIS THE DAY!?!?!” It will be a surprise. I think you need to explain it in that way, say, I know you want this to be a surprise, but I cannot be in the dark about my own future. I need to know a rough span of time by which you plan on doing this (So let’s say, ifi he already has started planning something in July, let’s say, he can say, by the end of the year). Or if he was planning on new year’s he can say, oh by our anniversary in February blah blah blah. Does that make sense?

Post # 5
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yeah, that’s totally unclear.  I would say. Listen. I need a timeframe by which you plan on making this happen. Not the day, not the hour, not the place. All those surprises will remain intact. Will it happen by the end of 2012? Is that a serious intention? By the end of 2013? If he can’t give a straight answer, I don’t know what to tell you. My SO fought with me about how he didn’t know when he was going to be ready, so had no answer. Then FINALLY it comes out after hours and hours that he’s like, I figured we’d get engaged in 2013. I was like WHAT?!?!?! When was I going to find out? That day in 2013? I am planning on moving for you 500 miles away. I need something to go on! It was an enlightening conversation, but took a lot of tears and hours. I wish you the best.

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