(Closed) Timing and Guests Waiting Time

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
10516 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

If you are hosting an event, you should host the ENTIRE event with no gaps. A three hour gap so she can take 2 hours of pictures is ridiculous! She should host a 1 hour cocktail hour for her guests and use that 1 hour to take pictures.

This sounds like a shitshow to me, to be honest. Her guests will be annoyed.

Post # 3
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

As far as I understand it, no she is not obligated to provide an event during the gap between the ceremony and reception.  I think that this type of format has sort of gone out of style, but I’ve been to a few Catholic weddings like this (Catholic priests usually don’t really care when you’d like to have your ceremony from what I’ve seen).

As a guest I”ve experienced two things:

1) Someone close to the B&G host a little party in between.  This tends to work in smaller towns where everything is close together.

2) Guests go off and hang out at a bar or do whatever they want.

Both options have been just fine with me.  I’m a grown up who can entertain myself for 3 hours, especially if I know in advance to expect the gap.  

Post # 4
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

There was a thread earlier this morning about the worst thing that ever happened at a wedding you’d been too – I’d say more than 70% of the responses were about gaps/lack of food (including me).  She should get pictures out of the way before the cereomy, or spring for the cocktail hour.  It looks cheap to me to skip it.

Post # 5
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
janvier :  I wouldn’t say she’s obligated to provide a cocktail hour specifically, although that’s very common and probably makes the most sense.

She is obiligated by etiquette to have the day flow non-stop from one event to the next without breaks.  Weddings have turned into little more than all-day photo shoots.

Post # 6
Member
5466 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it would be nice if she had a cocktail hour. 

Post # 7
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

I think the guests definitely need to be made aware ahead of time so they can find things to do. I have a 2 hour gap but it’s all in the same hotel. Guests can go to their rooms to change, eat/drink at one of several restaurants, sight-see, sleigh rides, whatever. I’m leaving them to their own devices.

Post # 8
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Ya, gaps suck. Having a three hour gap just so she can take photos is pretty rude. Also, a cocktail hour shouldn’t be much longer than an hour for guest comfort. So there should be a 45 min “gap” for travel time, an hour for appies and cocktails and then reception  

Ideally, she would take most of the photos ahead of time, and then during the cocktail hour the only photos really needed would be the large family ones and ones of just her and her new husband. Doing a first look is great and really helps out with photo timing because then she can get photos of her and her fiancé in different locations if she really wants. 

Post # 9
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
cbgg :  For me, if the momentum of the day stops, I’m probably just going to go home and not come back.  Hopefully the invitation would reflect that the wedding was this type of wait-around-all-day affair, and I’d decline in the first place.

The only exception would be if I had traveled and had easy access to my hotel room.  

Post # 10
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
fredthebasil :  agree

The 3-hour gap is a real momentum-killer. Yes, I can entertain myself for 3 hours, but not in formal wear, trying not to get messy, sweaty, etc. I would be very tempted to skip one event or the other — probably the ceremony, and just show up for the reception (tempted, mind you — not that I would actually do that).

I would suggest that she provide a cocktail hour at the reception venue starting 1 hour after the end of the ceremony. That gives guests 1 hour to drive over, and 1 hour of cocktails. That gives her 1 hour of photos (plenty of time, because they’ll take pics during the reception, too).

 

 

Post # 11
Member
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
janvier :  I have always attended Catholic weddings so having a gap is totally normal (we had one for out wedding too). I think most guests either skip the ceremony and just go to the reception if the events are in different places or there is no entertainment provided for the guests. We did have a cocktail hour at the venue for the guests (which is standard in my circles as well).

I think if a person reads the invitation and sees the time/location discrepancy between the ceremony and reception they’ll be able to decide whether they will skip the ceremony or attend both but entertain themselves until the reception starts.

Post # 12
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Growing up Catholic it was always normal to have a few hours in between. Normally someone hosted everyone at their homes with some light lunch and some coolers of beer during that gap while the bridal party took pictures. Other times there were informal plans to meet at the hotel bar or something like that. If the crowd is used to that, I don’t see any issue.

However, I’m going straight through ceremony-cocktail hour-reception and my Catholic family is super excited not to have to travel anywhere in the city or make intermidiary plans, so I do think that’s the ideal scenario. My two cents. 

 

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