(Closed) timing for thank you notes?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you should send thank yous as gifts arrive, and I don’t see anything wrong with using them from now!

Post # 5
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

The custom of waiting until a particular day to open gifts is properly associated with children’s birthday parties and Christmas gifts. Wedding gifts should be opened as soon as they arrive; and they should be arriving not only from guests who cannot attend, but also from sophisticated guests who know the dictate of etiquette that no parcels or packages should ever be brought to a formal party. Traditionally well-wishers choose gifts that will help you set up your home, in the fond self delusion that modern couples actually do have any home-sttong-up to do; and you would of course want your new home to be all set up and waiting for you when you come home from your honeymoon and enter it to stay for the first time (?!) So you open the gifts as they arrive, set them aside maybe to show off to any lady guests you have over for tea over the next few weeks, and then set them up on your shiny new kitchen counters or in your polished new china cabinet so that you can use them right away when you start your new life as wife.

The thank-you notes should be sent as soon as possible after a gift arrives: the gold standard is to send them on the same day before you go to bed. Gifts that are (improperly) brought to the wedding itself will of course have to wait until you get back from your honeymoon, but they shouldn’t wait any longer than is absolutely necessary. If you are going to use a wedding picture for thank-you notes then make sure you choose the picture and get your printer busy producing the notes while you are gone, so that the notes, like the presents, are waiting for you when your husband (ahem) “carries you across the threshold.”

While it would be particularly wierd for you to use the *same* wedding-picture card for thank-you notes you send prior to the wedding, and for notes you send after; sending on different stationery is not wierd at all. Sending on plain white heavy paper is actually more proper than sending on a picture card.

Post # 7
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsRichard:  I don’t think so, most likely they will not be comparing notes. What I’m doing is everytime I see a pack of postacards or stationary that I LOVE I buy it, and I’ve been using that and sometimes choosing which one to use depending on the receiver personality.

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