Post # 1
My sister is getting married next summer and I am her maid of honour. My husband and I are TTC and I really want to keep trying but the problem is… The next two cycles would have the due date fall close to their wedding date. The next cycle we can try would put the babies due date about 2 weeks before there wedding. The next cycle would put the due date 3 weeks after their wedding. Is it a bad idea to try to conceive one or both of these months? I’m worried I might end up actually having the baby the day of the wedding or something… but at the same time that doesn’t seem that likely. What would you do?
This topic was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by RedPandas.
Post # 2
Post # 3
Thanks! I don’t want anyone to be mad about it
Post # 4
if you’re actively TTC, keep doing it. Baby trumps wedding.
If you are prepared to skip TTC for one month, skip the first one. Due date before the wedding is a bigger “problem” because a newborn makes life difficult. (Also first babies are often late, though maybe that’s a myth). In fact, I would recommend stepping down from Maid/Matron of Honor if your due date is 2 weeks before. But I wouldn’t stop TTC.
Post # 5
I had the same thought process a few months ago. We decided to wait on TTC purely because we live a 3 hour flight from the location of the wedding and I didn’t want to put my self in a position where I;d risk not being able travel to be there. I also talked it over with my sister when she asked me just so she knows there’s a chance I could be pregnant and she’s totally fine with it and excited for us. All of that said, we’re still not pregnant yet, so all the overthinking didn’t really matter in the end anyway 🙂
Post # 6
RedPandas: There are pros and cons either way but personally I think you should do what feels right in your heart.
If you aren’t fussed and you guys have a ‘let’s just see what happens’ approach to TTC then holding off a few weeks probably won’t matter, but if it is really important to you that you stick with it, don’t put your life on hold for someone elses day. There are SO many pregnant bridesmaids/MOH’s and even brides out there, you will be able to work it out if it so happens that you are pregnant by then 🙂
Post # 7
For a friend I would continue TTC, for my sister I would put it on hold. Neither bein super pregnant nor havig just had a baby will be fun for you.
Post # 8
RedPandas: I totally get the whole “weddings dont make the world stop – continue with your life” thing, but I would probably stop for the next two months if there werent any health issues (taking you a long time to conceive, older age, etc.). I know that I wouldn’t want to miss my sister’s wedding! You could still be pregnant the day of or have a tiny, tiny baby and not be able to attend. Just my opinion 🙂
Post # 9
RedPandas: To answer your question, I think I would rather be two weeks out from having a baby – evne if I would feel awful – rather than ‘worry’ about being in a wedding 3 weeks post partum.
With that said, do not delay your plans. You stated you are already TTCing, and depending on how many cycles you have been thru up to this point, I certainly would not stop for fear it would not happen, or prolong it from happening!! It could happen next month, it could happen in four. Either way, if you are mentally prepared to be there come hell or high water, then you will be there…unless you are in labor, I assume 🙂
Post # 10
I would probably wait a few months – in this situation, it’s your sister’s wedding, and I’m betting both you and she would be pretty sad if you had to miss it. Unfortunately, with both of those due date possibilities, it’s entirely possible you could go into labor the day of, still be in the hospital, or be home with a days-old baby. While I get how much it sucks to put off TTC, I think in this case it would be for the best.
Post # 11
If I were in this situation I wouldn’t wait. Its not guarenteed to happen in the next 2 cycles, so you could end up worrying over nothing. Also I imagine your sister would understand and accomidate as necessary.
Post # 12
Thank you for the answers everyone! I am still so torn with what to do… <br /><br />I think I might have been underestimating what being 1, 2, or 3 weeks post partum feels like? Am I going to be in pain just from walking, standing, sitting? Can I leave a baby with someone else for the day… would they even be drinking from a bottle yet if I am planning on breastfeeding? I was just reading online and did not realize all of these things. <br /><br />I will probably skip this month and try for the next. Chances are I will be very pregnant then unless I have the baby 3 or more weeks early. Plus, I might not even get pregnant then. My husband and I have only tried one cycle so far.
Post # 13
I have nothing to say as far as what to do, just that if you get pregnant, don’t expect your sister to change the wedding date or make any major changes.
Post # 14
If it was my sister (and I hadn’t been TTC for a long time, if I’d already been trying 1 year I wouldn’t stop…) I would skip the 2 months and wait. I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man with a 1 month old baby and I couldn’t imagine trying to be a Maid/Matron of Honor with a 2 week old. IMO you’d be better off 9 months super-pregnant as a Maid/Matron of Honor than with a newborn. I did go to the bachelorette party (dinner part) and I didn’t want to give her a bottle at 2 weeks so I basically had 2 hours free and had to be back home.
When I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, that was when we first gave our 1 month old a bottle (well we tried it out a few days before). She did fine with it, but since they eat every 2-3 hours that is a lot of pumping or BFing that you need to be doing (unless you’re just going to formula). By the way, some babies don’t want to take bottles and it can be a real challenge to get them to take one.
I didn’t really get to enjoy the reception because I was constantly worried about my baby lol, and she was in the next room with Darling Husband or my parents. But I just wanted to be around her, so I didn’t really get a chance for much socializing or dancing. I couldn’t imagine being 2 weeks post partum trying to deal with all of that. And I was just a Bridesmaid or Best Man 🙂 It worked out fine (except the dress was kind of a mess), I just didn’t get to enjoy the wedding like I normally would have.
And you will probably be weepy and could still be sore and bleeding a bunch 2 weeks pp…
Oh and by the way, if your due date is 3 weeks before the wedding, you could be late and potentially have a 1-2 week old at the wedding.
Post # 15
Do what is right for you and your family planning, oh my god! Weddings, babies, it’s all joy and happiness all around. Your sister will understand. I’m TTC now and if I get a BFP this cycle, my due date will be 2 weeks after my sister’s wedding next year. And I know she’ll be THRILLED.