Tinder and guys?

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
4486 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

caligurl12 :  I’d say a lot of people use tinder to hook up in the next few hours in hope of some action. When they don’t hear back from you or don’t get the vibe that you are into that too, they kind of disengage and move on to someone who has a similar frame of mind as to how the interaction will end. 

Look at it as a way to sort the wheat from the chaff if you are looking for something more long term. Also try other dating sites that have more of an outlook as being about dating and less about hooking up if that’s what you are after.



Post # 3
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I met my SO on Tinder. I had a lot of guys swiping right but I don’t think I saw anyone unmatched even though we don’t chat. As in, even though both sides matched, we never said hi even after years, they didn’t unmatched.

Take your time replying but be careful, I do agree with PP that Tinder does have that stigma of hook ups. So be wary. 

Post # 4
8187 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

caligurl12 :  I think a lot of men (not all – my Fiance and I met on tinder) use it for hook ups so if they don’t get an instant reply they unmatch. But the people with the right intentions would be patient enough to wait a few hours. If you are leaving it a couple of days though they might unmatch as their self esteem might be a bit hurt.

Post # 5
793 posts
Busy bee

Yeah a lot of guys are looking to hook up through Tinder. I met my SO through Tinder, but that was after having a lot of very brief convos, dealing with a lot of dudes opening with “wanna fuck?”, and a lot of bad one off dates. If you’re looking for a relationship, you may get lucky with Tinder, but you also may want to try another dating app as well. 

Post # 6
162 posts
Blushing bee

I think Tinder is similar to meeting someone at the bar. People are looking for differet things it may be a hook up, casual relationship or something more. The exception on Tinder is that people are more upfront than IRL. Those who unmatch you are not looking for the same thing as you so they are saving time for both of you. I also think that people have lost patience. Waiting 2 days to respond sends a messge that the person is not interested or that you are talking to someone more interesting since people are so used to immediate responses, not that there is anything wrong with it.

Post # 7
482 posts
Helper bee

Met my Fiance on Tinder ^.^ I mostly kept the app around as anger management (I love to be shitty to stupid dudes to message inappropriate/rude things), but my Fiance was genuinely sweet (opened with information from my profile) and in his profile he described himself as a “hopeless romantic in a hook-up culture”, so it told me that he was interested in more than a roll in the hay.

I will say that with my Fiance, I responded quickly. I think the excitement drove our messages to each other and I loved that he was quick to respond back because it felt like we had an engaged conversation. We also only waited 3 or 4 days to go on a date. I am a BIG believer in not waiting too long to meet up. Less of a chance of disappointment in my opinion. 🙂

Post # 8
2464 posts
Buzzing bee

I met my SO on Tinder about 2.5 years ago.

i don’t remember being unmatched like that, but I agree with everyone who said that some guys are looking for immediate hook ups and probably lose interest quickly.

but you also have to wade through the BS because there are good guys on there.  They just don’t last long because they get taken quickly!

Post # 9
3401 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

 I know absolutely nothing about Tinder, but I think waiting more than a day is probably too long. The way I see it, even at work you’re expected to return phone calls and emails within a day. Two days to respond to a message seems like a lot. It would be like waiting two days to respond to a text from a friend, which in my book is pretty weird. I have a guy friend from high school who texts that way, and I actually met my husband while waiting for him to respond to a text about getting together (when he was obviously pursuing a relationship but still taking 2 or 3 days to reply). That said, you can probably weed out the guys looking for an immediate hookup if you wait.

Post # 10
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

mrsbarack :  This. All of this.

I also met my FH on Tinder and he tells anyone who will listen, that you have to be quick. He asked me to go out the same day we started talking. And good thing he did, because someone who I had been talking to longer asked the very next day! Basically, even if someone isn’t using Tinder exclusively for hookups, it’s so easy to move on quickly if you’re not getting any response. If you’re interested, get in there and don’t waste time!

Post # 11
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

A lot of people (not just men) use Tinder for hookups and/or for entertainment purposes. Regardless of that, though, I do think a lot of people actually using it to find a meaningful relationship would be a little put off if someone they were interested in or messaged didn’t respond for 2 days. I met my Fiance on Tinder, and I would certainly have given up on him if he didn’t respond to messages for days. A few hours is fine, people should have lives, but simply not responding to a message that comes directly to your phone and you receive a notification for? No. 

Post # 12
104 posts
Blushing bee

Tinder is for hook ups. I’m still in college and that’s literally all it’s used for. If you’re looking for a relationship, you’re unfortunately in the wrong place. That said, I do know a couple of people who are dating someone that they met on there. But they hooked up first lol

Post # 13
488 posts
Helper bee

You’re educated? 

Post # 14
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills

Yes, Tinder has a stigma as a hookup app, but I know multiple people who have met their significant others on there and ended up married. I don’t see how it could hurt to try it.  You go through a lot of people with most online dating sites/apps anyway, and Tinder is free, so you really have nothing to lose. As far as responses, I would try to reply ASAP to people you are interested in but if you don’t get to it in time and get unmatched it probably wasn’t meant to be anyway. 

Post # 15
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I went on Tinder looking for hookups and met my husband 😂 But regardless of what you are looking for, waiting 2 days is too long for any kind of communication. 

mohbestie :  Way to keep the thread on track 

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