(Closed) Tip jar at an open bar reception POLL

posted 4 years ago in Reception
  • poll: should the bartenders have a tip jar on the bar?
    yes : (30 votes)
    33 %
    no : (60 votes)
    67 %
  • Post # 2
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I HATE this. I made sure my venue didn’t do it. If we are paying you $10,000 in gratuity then some of that should be tips for the bartenders, sorry. However, many venues here in my area do it even the upscale ones. 

    Post # 3
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    A tip jar to me says that the hosts aren’t capable of taking care of the bartenders. Your dad is right. Your guests shouldn’t feel obligated to open their wallets.

    Post # 4
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    If you’re paying the tip, then it’s inappropriate for the bar to have a tip jar. I’ve been to an event with an open bar, and the bartender put his own jar out. It’s confusing, because tip jar signals that the bartender is not otherwise being tipped. Usually, hosts cover all tips, so I think sometimes they try to get double tipped.

    Post # 5
    1332 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I do not think I have been to a wedding where there was not something out for tips.  Granted, the jar did not read/have writing screaming ‘TIP JAR!!!’.   I, for one, have always thrown a $10/$20 bill into the jar at every wedding, but I do it when the bartenders are sorta ‘watching’ me too, because at every wedding, that same bartendar has been VERY quick to get me a drink, or to automatically make the drink I order when they see me coming 🙂  (That statement makes me sound like a bit of an alcoholic, but I swear, I just really enjoy the extra special service!).

    I guess it does not bother me per se, but perhaps because I am used to seeing it, etc.  

    Post # 7
    3281 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Tacky and trashy. Since I am already paying 18% in gratuities, there should be no tip jar. 

    Post # 9
    3317 posts
    Sugar bee

    future.mrs.koban:  This was a big issue for me at my wedding. We had a plan in place with our caterer and their staff to tip the bartenders at the end of the wedding, and it was in their contract that they would not have a tip jar. I think it’s wrong to ask people to tip at an open bar. However, at my wedding, the bartenders put out a tip jar and since I never went to get a drink myself, was unaware until about 2 hours before the wedding was over. I was able to remove it then, but was pretty embarrassed that it had been out almost the entire wedding. I’m just not a fan.

    With that said, both my husband and our friends have gone to a lot of weddings, and the general concensus has been that they don’t find it unusual to tip at open bar and they’ve come to expect it, so I don’t really think there is a right or wrong answer etiquette wise.

    Post # 10
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    future.mrs.koban:  I don’t think anyone should have a tip jar out. If people want to give tips, they will leave them there. I hate it when I go really anywhere and see that. 

    Post # 11
    2518 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    gelaine22:  I agree.  We are already paying a hefty gratuity for all services.  We do not want to see tip jars and I do not want our guests to feel obligated to tip anyone.  

    Post # 13
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t think tip jars are that common around here, most people just throw a buck or two down on the bar after they get their drink. I don’t think a jar is very polite but I wouldn’t be offended by it.

    Post # 14
    941 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 1975

    future.mrs.koban:  Been to many weddings in which there was some sort of area on the bar for tips. Whether in a jar, on the bar itself, or in a basket. Idk what each bride & groom does when it comes to tipping (some may take care of the staff, others might not). Figured I’d always rather cover my ends and tip the staff. I don’t mind. I often find it expected, even at a wedding. It’s just something I figure into my cost as an attendee. But if you think it looks tacky, by all means tell them. Let them know you dont want to give that impression to the guests. Seems as though you guys will do more than enough to make sure everyone is compensated for their hard work.

    Post # 15
    1249 posts
    Bumble bee

    future.mrs.koban:  Before this thread, I never gave this any thought. At every open bar I’ve been to, I’ve always tipped for a drink, whether or not there was a jar. However now that I think about it, I’m hosting an open bar and paying a 20% gratuity for all services. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get at the thought of a tip jar or glass being put out there. Thanks to this thread, I’m going to make sure to discuss this with my planners and the next vendor meeting.

    I’d rather just let my guests tip if they want to without the silent suggestion/encouragement of a tip jar.

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