Post # 1
Hi Bees. I clearly have a lot of tipping issues.
My bartenders are included in my site fee. I am having my reception at a hall, and there is an exclusive caterer that handles everything inside. They provide bartenders for us as well. We are having a full bar, and it’s free for all our guests… My mom suggested that we put a tip jar out for the bartenders, but I wasn’t sure if this was okay, or if it came off as tacky… Like guilting the guests into tipping.
Just looking for opinions!
Thanks in advance!!!
Post # 3
Honestly, your bartenders will probably put their own tip jar out. I’ve seen it plenty of times at weddings.
Post # 4
I think if it’s included in the site fee, then they’re getting paid already for it.
I’ve been to weddings that have a tip jar, and I never thought it was tacky. Something to remember thought, a lot of people may not have cash on them to tip. I know we ran into this a few weeks ago at a wedding.
Post # 5
I am pretty sure that’s standard. If not standard, its definitely common. Maybe not a tip jar per se, but I’ve seen it and I’ve never been offended. Then again, I know that I should be tipping a bartender for the drinks they make me throughout the night.
Post # 6
Among both of our families and our friends, this would be considered tacky. The idea being that guests should not have to take out their wallet at the reception at all 🙂
Post # 7
If they aren’t getting paid a chunk for their night, they need a tip. Just because they got paid doesn’t mean it’s much….bartenders can get paid $2.13/hour in my state. Call your venue and see if they’re paid hourly for the night or if it’s the $3/hour plus tips the venue probably expects them to make.
Personally, I’d hand them $100 and ask them to put the tip jar away. I always knwo to tip a bartender, though. I never “just assume” they got paid. Plus, if i throw a $5 in for the night, I’m guaranteed strong, good drinks all night! Always worth it.
Post # 8
I think a lot of our friends & family would tip regardless of a jar. But we are probably leaving a bulk tip for the service people that night.
I would personally not put out a jar.
Post # 9
If you can confirm they’re getting a part of your venue’s service charge (or equivalent) I don’t think they need to have a jar out too.
As a guest I find it a little confusing and awkward to see a jar there at a hosted bar…. I’m pretty sure the hosts are tipping the servers (as is the custom), but do I look bad/is it a faux pas if I don’t give a tip?
Post # 10
Thanks, I was sort of thinking the same thing.. my mother is trying to avoid tipping out of her own pocket as much as possible.. ha. And since she is sort of paying for things related to the reception, she thinks this is a way to get around tipping them.
I am not sure if I think it’s tacky.. and have seen it at a LOT of weddings, just trying to get a lot of other people opinions.
Thanks and keep them a’commin!
Post # 11
Having waited tables before, I never think it’s tacky. I just assume the venue pays them a lowly $5/hour to make drinks. Plus, even if there isn’t a jar, I’m still likely to tip! But then there’s like, no jar….which is awkward when their hands are full. I don’t know anyone who personally thinks a tip jar is a no-no. We always carry $1’s and $5’s.
Post # 12
You are responsible for tipping your bartender, not your guests. If a guest wishes they may also tip by leaving money on the counter. A tip jar is not appropriate.
Post # 13
I would do what ejs suggested. At our wedding, we had an open bar, and I didn’t think to ask about the bartender and tipping (good on you for thinking of this early!). At brunch the morning after our reception, one of our friends told us that there was a huge tip jar out on the bar all night, crammed with cash.
I felt awful – I hadn’t noticed because I was dancing all night and never went to the bar to get a drink. If I had known, I would have requested that the jar be put away and we would have given the bartender extra to cover the lost tips.
That’s just how I would have done it – I didn’t want my guests to shell out any cash whatsoever the day of the wedding. It’s why we had an open bar in the first place.
Post # 14
I think I’d feel a bit irritated by a tip jar at a wedding. Not that I would be averse to giving barstaff their due, just that I’m generally of the thought that guests shouldn’t be responsible for covering part of the wedding.
Agree that the best approach is to hand over cash at the beginning of the night and no jar. Guests may tip anyway, but it won’t look like anyone’s grasping.
Post # 15
If it’s a cash bar, a tip jar is expected. If it’s being paid for by the host (i.e. included in your site fee) then it is assumed that the hosts will tip the bartender and the guests enjoy the free drinks. Our bar was included in the site fee as well, so we gave $100 to the bartenders for a tip and thanked them for our delicious signature cocktails. The only tipping going on after that was for people ordering spirits which weren’t included in our package.
Post # 16
We are tipping 100 bucks just so they won’t put out a tip jar. We don’t want our guests to feel like they have to pay anything.