Post # 1
Because I’m tired of arguing with my mother about it, and because I want people to dance, and because I’m a control freak . . . I’ve decided to host the bar at my sister’s wedding reception.
Luckily we’re able to bring our own liquor into the venue (hellooooo savings), so now I’m in the process of trying to find a bartender.
I’m learning that I might be able to get a lower hourly rate if I agree to allow a tip jar. I’m old-fashioned and believe that guests shouldn’t have to pay for anything . . . but I’m on the fence as far as allowing them to tip the bartenders.
Do you think tip jars are tacky? Would you feel pressured or put-off as a guest?
When you attend open bar events, how often do you actually tip?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t put a tip jar out and just tip the bartender myself. If any of the guests feel like they need to tip they will just leave it on the bar but most probably wont as it will be expected that the B&G/Hosts are paying the tip.
Post # 4
@LALaw: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with tip jars but it would be weird at an open bar. Usually I just throw the loose change I get back in them but if I’m not paying for drinks I wouldn’t even bring my purse up so I probably wouldn’t even tip him at all.
Post # 5
Our bar tender had a tip jar and it was full to the top at the end of the night… we also had a cash bar and we gave them a really large tip as well. I don’t see anything wrong with the tip jar, our staff was so awesome, helpful and friendly so people wanted to tip them. No one said a negative word about it.
Post # 6
@LALaw: I always drop a $20 in the tip jar at a wedding.
Post # 7
I know our wedding despite it being open bar to the guests, we were charged an 18% tip to us directly for each drink. I would have been kind of annoyed if my guests also tipped on top of that because I think 18% is already pretty generous… (wait staff make min $9.00/hr here)
I would probably pay the higher hourly rate to avoid the tip jar, and if guests really want to tip they can just put it in his/her hand.
Post # 8
I don’t like tip jars! I find them really tacky and would much more prefer paying a slightly higher rate to avoid them.
Post # 9
Tip jars are tacky/rude and frankly, I think it’s a slap in the face for guests. Only because a lot of them paid a lot of money just to attend the wedding, they shouldn’t fell compelled to shell out even more money.
When I mentioned this to my venue (who also does the catering/bartending), they have a policy which doesn’t even allow their staff to put out tip jars. If guests insist on a tip, it’s more of an under-the-table type of thing.
Post # 10
Thanks so much for the candid feedback, ladies! I guess I’ll suck it up and pay to avoid the tip jar. I want the guests to be carefree.
Full disclosure: i’m a crappy cash handler and rarely keep it on me, so when I’m at open bar events I rarely have any cash to tip with anyway. I always feel badly, but I guess not badly enough to go find an ATM just so I can tip, lol!
So part of my curiosity was whether the bartenders would even make their 18-20% off the jar.
Post # 11
It might be understandable if they’re actually mixing cocktails all night, but if it’s a wedding where they’re mostly just pouring wine and opening beer bottles, that’s kind of silly.
Post # 12
I’m a former server, so my natural inclination is to throw money at the bartender if I see a tip jar! I honestly don’t mind throwing some money the bartender’s way because it’s all about strategy for me. I want to be remembered. When the bartender sees me walking toward the bar, I like having my wine/vodka tonic ready for me.
Post # 13
@LALaw: Being from LA as well – I think you’ll still have people that will try to tip the bartender (without a tip jar being there). I’d ask whomever you are looking to hire how they handle people who try to tip them (especially if their rate is dependent on that!!)
That said, I’m pro NO tip jar.
Post # 14
I HATE tip jars. It was a big point of negotiation with my venue that we will not have one (there’s a mandatory 18% service charge and we’re paying for the bar, so I don’t see why they should have another one out anyway).
But — I don’t hold it against a couple when I see one at a wedding. I assume it’s just the venue standard and they didn’t even think about it or it wasn’t negotiable.
Post # 15
@PinkMermaid: “I don’t like tip jars! I find them really tacky and would much more prefer paying a slightly higher rate to avoid them.”
If a guest then tips, that’s a bonus for the bartender for giving great service.
Post # 16
I usually tip MORE when a tip jar is not out than when there is a tip jar. Also, just because jar is not out does not mean that people wouldnt tip.