Post # 1
I have no idea who (or how much) to tip!
We have a DOC, but she is a part of our venue
The Lodge adds a 30% service fee, does that cover gratuity for the servers/bartenders?
Do I tip the photographer, even though she is essentially the proprietor?
How much do I give the hairdresser?
Thankfully (and presumptuously) our DJ tells us what is “customary”
Post # 3
OMG our DJ told us what is “expected” as well. I think its kind of rude.
I’m doing 20% for hairdreser.
Your DOC shouldn’t expect anything, but a card/small gift card would be a nice token if she did a great job.
No tip for the photog. As you said they own their own business.
We also are not adding tips for the bartenders servers. I feel like that should be included in the “service fee” you pay.
The only other tip we are doing is the limo drive and we are doing 15%.
Post # 4
I’m a part time serverfor a catering company and I get paid a little over minimum wage. I can tell you that we don’t see a dime of that service fee.
For a typical wedding, I arrive at 2pm to help unload the food and equipment from the van. Then we start setting up the tables, folding napkins, making place settings, setting up the bar and getting pre ceremony drinks and snacks prepared. Then after the ceremony, we pass food and drinks for cocktail hour. Then we serve the meal. Then we pass the cake (that one of us cuts and plates) and champagne (that someone had to pour). All the while we are bussing constantly–usually our bussing area is a table set up in the rear of the venue. Someone packs a boxed meal and saves a bottle of champagne for the bride and groom to take to-go and makes sure that the coordinator knows where it is and gets it to the bride and groom. That person usually also has to fix plates for the vendors and also saves and boxes up the top of the wedding cake. After the reception is over, we have to finish bussing, account for all of the rental tables/glassware and stack it all for the rental company to come get and pick up all of the trash. By all of the trash I mean all of the discarded programs and personalized napkins as well as every single confetto, grain of rice and flower petal from the ceremony and departure. Since most receptions end at night, we do this outside in the dark with headlamps on. Then we sweep and mop indoors, make sure that there is no food or trash around the bussing station after the rental company arrives to pick up everything. Then we reload the van. If we’re lucky and the venue has a dumpster that we’re allowed to use we don’t have to cram the bags of trash into the van so we haul them to the dumpster. Then we wait for the DOC to approve the level of cleanliness before we can go. Usually if the reception ends at midnight, we get to leave by about 3 unless the DOC is a pain. That is over 13 hours of hard work per wedding.
I’d say that we deserve a tip–but really we only get tipped maybe 25% of the time. Even 20 bucks per server is a really nice thing to see–I don’t do this because I want to, I do it because I have to but I still do the best job I can.
Post # 5
I would ask your venue about the service fee, see if it includes a gratuity for the waitstaff. My caterer builds an 18% gratuity into their price, but they were sure to inform us of that.
I would not tip the photographer.
A 20% tip to your stylist is customary.
Not sure about the coordinator, but I would think not. Perhaps other ladies who have used them can offer some insight.
Post # 6
I say tip who you want. Bring about 15% tip for each person and if you feel like they deserve a tip, give it to them! As for the photographer, I would wait until after you get a little sneak peak to see if you like the job they did, and if you do, send them a card with a check as a tip.
And, remember that you don’t have to worry about handing the people the money, give it to a responsible groomsman or one of the fathers to give to the person *label each envelope.