(Closed) Tipping a rabbi from a synagogue where you're a member?

posted 6 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I say make a donation to the Synagouge in the Rabbi’s honor as a thank you and write him a nice note after.

i just noticed we are in the same area! Where are you getting married?

Post # 4
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@amandasf:  I agree. I think a donation is most appropriate in this situation.

Post # 7
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I do – I think it’s very nice and it doesn’t have to be a large amount of money either.

Post # 8
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

There is a Jewish tradition of donating to charity surrounding any major life-cycle event. So, tell your in-laws your “tip/donation” for the officiant is really fulfilling a separate mitzvah.

Really, do what YOU feel most comfortable with. If YOU are going to feel awkward about not donating, do it and don’t even discuss the issue with the in-laws.

Post # 9
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You know- now that I think about it, if the inlaws really are insistent on not making the donation to the Synagouge- make it to a Jewish charity, like Jewish Federation or Jewish Social Services. 

Post # 10
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I lean “no” towards the gift card idea.  I would suggest making a donation, though you needn’t make an excessive one.  I think the benefit of paying thousands of dollars in membership fees each year is so that when you participate in life cycle events you won’t be charged for the services like bar/bat mitzvah, wedding officiating, etc (at least, that’s how it works in my area).  Can you talk with the administrator at your shul and find out what the process for donating to the rabbi’s retirement/philantropy fund is? At some places the Rabbi will simply receive a note that a donation was made in his/her name by Mr. X and Mrs. Y, though the amount is never disclosed. (Though, I’m sure there’s a way they can look at the accounts and see how it grows from day-to-day, but still!)  For all you know, s/he will never find out exactly how much you donated. 

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