(Closed) Tipping!? Confused!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 6
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mainejen:  How are you figuring the $1000? Based only on food costs, or are you basing it on the total amount of bill?

Honestly, I don’t think $1000 seems like that much, but it would really depend on a lot of other factors. Labor for service staff can be as low as $2-3/hour in many states, so the gratuity would actually be their salary. Do you know how many servers/bartenders you’re having? I’m guessing 2-3 servers & 1 bartender? And how many hours will they be there?

Post # 7
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you tipped $100 instead of $1,000 how could that be seen as being a bad tipper? Give what you can trying to follow the ettiquette chart. When you write Thank You and gift… Are you referring to the $ as gift? I personally can’t see tipping over $100 for anything! Oh and give the envelopes to a trusted friend. I told my vendors I would not pay them but that “Gloria” will have the payment envelopes! 

Post # 8
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

My assumption was to tip 15-20% of the labor costs (not your entire food bill). You can put it all in one envelope and give it to the catering manager or maitre’d and they will tip out their staff accordingly.

Post # 9
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Angelz_love:   This is not appropriate.  You tip based on the amount of the bill, not on what you can afford.  Servers are relying on your tip, it’s not fair to stiff them because you didn’t factor in the cost of a tip when deciding on your menu. 

OP, you need to tip 15 to 20% of the total food cost.  Do not adjust that amount because it “sounds like a lot.”  That is the customary amount, if it seems to much for you, then adjust the menu downward.  Put the tip in an envelope, mark clearly what it’s for and have your Maid/Matron of Honor take care of giving it to the catering manager or event coordinator if the manager isn’t available.

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mainejen:  I’m sure the catering company does not divide the labor costs equally among the staff, so that’s not really a fair way to access that.

It is not 15% of the labor costs that you’re supposed to tip, it’s 15% of your total bill (though I would subtract linen, china rentals & tax when you’re doing this).

I think your best bet would be to ask the catering manager what is standard, or to err on the side of caution and tip the full 15%. 

And it’s really rude to just tip $100 because anything more sounds like a lot of money…what kind of logic is this?

Post # 13
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We didn’t have a “labor” portion of the bill, I’ve never seen anything like that.  Of course, gratuity was included in our contract (and was based off the total menu cost.)

Post # 16
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Its accurate. My caterer included a 20% tip in the initial estimate(20% of the TOTAL cost). So we will end up paying over $1000 to the caterer in tip. (Grrrr)  Some other estimates that we got did that too…so its a standard.  Be glad that they didn’t include a “service charge” too that amounted to about $1000 as well in some caterer estimates.  I think the caterers have the ability to stick it to you the most!

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