(Closed) Tipping Etiquette for Bad Reception Service

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would write a note with what you said to them without a tip. If they raise a fuss, you tell them they are lucky you are not writing negative reviews all over the place online.

Post # 4
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@caramello:  Ekk. That’s horrible! I’m so sorry. 

It’s a tough one. It’s not the servers’ fault the chef/venue screwed up your menu. However, I really wouldn’t want to tip either! If you don’t tip I’d definitely write a note about it but I’m hoping another bee has the perfect solution for you!

Post # 5
Member
680 posts
Busy bee

@caramello:  You are not obligated to tip. A tip is extra for good service. Write a check to them and in the memo be sure to put “Paid in Full.”

Post # 6
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

At my last wedding, I did not tip a single vendor. They charged enough, so I saw no reason to tip. I have no plans to tip this time either.

 

Post # 7
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MexiPino:  I agree, it does put the OP in a bit of a bad position because it wasn’t the wait staff’s fault that the menu went wrong.

I guess there is no way to ensure that the wait staff are tipped (assuming they did a good job), but no one else??

Post # 8
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@PermaStudent:  I agree. No way OP can know that the wait staff will be getting a cut of the tip now. I would not tip at all. What should have happened was that the wait staff was tipped on the day off, on the spot for individual good service. You may feel bad, but don’t tip if the service you paid for was not delivered to your satistfaction.

 

Post # 9
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

At 15 dollars an hour, thr normal “servers dont make minimum wage, they need tips to survive” doesnt apply

I wouldnt tip

Post # 10
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First and foremost, I see this is your Debut Post … so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Etiquette Snob here…

You said…

The servers and chef told me and my family that this was the menu I had  approved. Not true. And after speaking with our point person the next day (who  wasn’t at the reception), I was informed that the seafood they received was bad  which is why they served chicked instead. She apologized for the mistake and  offered to comp 20 plates out of 80. 

Your “beef” is with the Caterer, not the Serving Staff.  The Caterer wasn’t above board with you in not telling you about “the change of plans”

It looks like you’ve worked out an agreement / compromise (a 25% refund = 20 plates of 80) with the “Point Person” (assume someone representing the Caterer)

When it comes to Contracts (and sadly you say you don’t have one)… Serving Staff and their services are often on the Contract as a Line Item… same with the Invoice

I wouldn’t CHEAP OUT on the Servers just because the Caterer screwed up… they should be viewed as 2 different entities (altho Servers may be provided via your Caterer)

BUT as this is all verbal… and the Invoice says “suggested 20% Gratuity”… I’d only be giving the normal 15% to 18%.

AND as someone else mentioned… I be ensuring that after I Paid the Bill (preferably in person)… that someone marks on it PAID IN FULL… and their Name and Date.

Hope this helps,

PS… Lesson Learned.  Don’t contract out for large ticket items to be delivered in the future without having your Agreement in Writing as it actually serves to protect you both !!

 

Post # 11
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

EDIT TO ADD…

There is a distinct list of WHO should be tipped when it comes to Weddings.  And most general Vendors / Professionals / Business Owners ARE NOT on the list (ie Wedding Coordinator – Photographer – Videographer – Caterer – Florist etc)

People who should be tipped are those in the role of Service Jobs… including Bartenders, Wait Staff, etc

You should tip those people their due… despite the fact that you feel screwed over by the Caterer.

It is not your concern how the Caterer runs his business, chooses to pay those people… be that $ 15 per hour, or how they are tipped out (at the time of the event / on a monthly basis etc)

The thing you need to be concerned with is doing the right thing for the situation.

You’ve been compensated by the Caterer for the mess up… that issue has been settled.

You now need to meet your obligations for the Wait Staff (and that includes a Tip)

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 12
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think you need to tip in this scenario. You can’t be sure it will be going to the staff and $15 an hour is plenty anyway. If anyone offered sterling service and you can see them personally, it might be worth it, but otherwise I would skip giving any gratuity.

 

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would tip whatever you would have without this incident – the servers aren’t the ones who messed up here, someone else didn’t alert you to the problem with the seafood, didn’t come up with the backup plan, and misinformed the servers about what your menu choice was. But that’s not the server’s fault, I can understand why you’d be totally frustrated, but don’t take it out on the wrong people.

Post # 14
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@caramello:  I would tell the vendor/caterer that the 20% tip can come out of their own pockets. They screwed up and their staff shouldn’t suffer for their mistakes and your wallet shouldn’t either.

Post # 15
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@newname_99:  +1. Where I live restaurant servers make $6.85/hr so the servers are making pretty decent money with out a tip.

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