Post # 1
So there are a few things that friends have volunteered to help out with important aspects of our day and I’m not sure if a “tip” is appropriate and if it is how much it should be. What’s the etiquette on tipping friends who volunteer? Have any of you dealt with how to decide if and how much?
1. Our pastor, who is a very close friend, is doing our ceremony. Friends as in my Fiance goes out to lunch with him every few weeks and house sat when they were on vacation. His whole family is going to be invited.
2. My sister’s SIL (sounds weird, but we’re good friends) has offered to do our cupcakes for us. She’s an experienced baker and has made very fancy cakes for events in the past. I’m buying all the ingredients but she’s making them day of and transporting them.
3. Family friend (she worked with my mother for like 20 years and has known me since I was 4) has offered to help out with keeping the food and drinks stocked and with overseeing cleanup afterward.
Do I just find a way to ask if they expect anything? I’m confused!
Post # 4
This is what I’m doing because we also have a lot of friends and family helping…
1. Officient – my good friend is an ordained minister and is flying up from Atlanta to marry us. Even though she would be coming anyway, we are going to pay her plane fare and tip her AT LEAST 100 dollars, but more like 150.
2. My SIL is taking our photos, she will get at least 150 and a very nice gift.
3. My sister is making our cake as our wedding gift, so we weren’t going to tip her as she offered it as a gift.
4. My brother friend offered to dj our wedding for free (with the help of my younger brother)…we are going to tip him at least 150.
These may not seem like huge tips, and we’re going to try to do more if we can with our tiny budget…but they’re pretty average for our area.
Post # 5
As a rule, I didn’t tip any friends.
We had friends do our videography – and they gave that to us as a gift. I didn’t give them any compensation – although, I did ask if there were any expenses that needed to be covered.
re: Pastor – ours was a close friend of mine. I decided to pay him his normal fee (I found out what it was from his assistant – who is also a friend). I figured we used so much of his time in meetings and with the rehearsal, etc – pastors don’t get paid a lot and I figured who couldn’t use the cash these days. I gave it to him more as a ‘thank you’ than a – here’s your fee/tip… even though, I had it in an envelope with all my other vendor payments… and I personally gave it to him during the reception.
I know if I was making cupcakes or overseeing the reception – I wouldn’t expect a gift of any sort – but, an invite to the rehearsal dinner and a nice thank you note would be appropriate.
Post # 6
I don’t think you should tip any of them but rather write a genuine thank you note. People are happy enough to help out as a favour. They don’t need to be tipped for it.
Post # 7
We did give a gift to the people who helped us.
My aunt did my flowers, and we gave her a $100 gift card to her favourite home decor store
We also gave $15 Starbucks cards to the six friends that did our honour guard.
I just kind of felt like we gave gifts to the bridal party, so they should get something too.
Post # 8
I think you should tip the first two and give a gift two the third. If you are financially strapped and they know that gift them all. You can even make something. I usually tip my friends better than non friends in these situations. I want them to feel appreciated and know that I am grateful, especially when they are helping me save money. They will remember the way you make the feel more than anything, so if you can’t tip or gift, treat them kindly and maybe even invite them over a few weeks after the wedding for an appreciation dinner.