Post # 1
ok, sorry I wanted to start a new thread on tipping, but I feel like I can’t find an answer.
I asked my wedding planner for some guidance on tipping. in the body of the email she mentioned a few obvious ones (like the caterer). she attached a word doc that included guidelines for tipping everyone. in a nutshell it said wedding planners do not expect a tip but if you wanted to, 10% is more than adequate.
ok, so this means the tip would be over $500! that seems outrageous to me and my Fiance. we talked and agreed that we would give her a nice gift: a nicely written thank you note with an Aveda gift card for $100.
here’s the part I think it’s weird: it was the tipping advice that my planner gave me. it puts me in an awkward position. on one hand, it’s like she’s telling me she does not expect a tip. on the other hand, giving her a $100 gift card is like saying she deserves a 2% tip. but $500? I just can’t help but think that is way over the top. even $250 seems a bit much (?) especially when this same sheet says a $20 tip is adequate for a photographer.
any bees out there think my aveda gift card is totally cheapskate of me? yay or nay? tell me now, before it’s too late!
(EDIT) since one person asked: my planner runs her own business out of her home, she does not work for a company.
Post # 3
does your event planner have her own company? if she’s the owner/proprietor, then technically you would not have to tip her because she sets her own rates. if she works for another company, you may tip her accordingly. i think the gift card would be a very nice gesture…. honestly, if her rate is $5k, i think you’re paying her quite a bit already, so anything above that should be appreciated.
ETA: $20 tip for your photog? that’s crazy low, again assuming your photog is not the owner/proprietor of the business.
Post # 4
@simplifiedbride: re: the photog. I know, right? I’m tipping her $100. she’s a friend and she’s giving me a discounted rate– but it is not her soul business. she has a day job too. this is just something she does on the side.
my planner owns her own business. your post made me feel much better!
Post # 5
I didn’t know you were supposed to tip the photographer…strange. I wouldn’t think you’d have to tip the wedding coordinator either. I’m all about tipping, but mostly because waitstaff get $2.13/hour and need tips as part of their salary and hairdressers have give most of their money to the business they work for – essentially making them have to work for tips too. I think this tipping thing has gotten out of hand. I think what you are giving her is MORE than enough.
Reminds me of the Seinfeld where Elaine askes the guy at the airport how much people usually tip and he tells her and she gets pissed because she thinks he’s making it up to get a bigger tip.
Post # 6
@BackyardLoveBird: LOL, that’s the second Seinfeld reference I’ve seen today. AND I had a dream about Seinfeld last night! weird.
I also agree that tipping has gotten out of hand in general these days. food servers: yes. fast food restaurant? no. (I’m not kidding, there are some big chain fast food restaurants that try putting tip jars on their counters here.)
note re: the photographer — my etiquitte sheet basically said that they don’t expect tips. but I’ve read some heated threads on WB debating this one.
Post # 7
Wow…so if $500 would be a 10% tip then your wedding planner costs $5000?!
That’s half of my entire budget! I thought they worked for a set fee.
Post # 8
I am a DOC and I set my fees up front. I’ve had a few clients tip me if they feel I’ve gone above and beyond or exceeded their expectations of my work. I work for myself and it’s per diem work. Even when I was a full time planner….I just can’t wrap my head around that.
The only payment I expect after an event is if I have receipts for last minute reimbursements. (For example, I did a wedding where a groomsman didn’t check his tux until the day of the wedding and I literally ran two blocks through Atlantic City to Brooks Brothers to purchase a tie and kerchief for him.)
Tips should be given based on level of customer/client service based on contracted services.
Hope this helps.
Post # 9
@MademoiselleL: yeah, all my life I dreaded planning a wedding, and this one turned out to be bigger than I ever imagined. I really needed the help, so I got a fairly full service package. like, she reads all of my contracts for me and tells me when to write a check or when to show up and sample cake, for example. she made planning super easy for me! it’s worth the $$$ because she gets big discounts from vendors and passes them on to us, and also keeps us within our budget.
@Ms.Shamrock: thank you, that does help! I am happy to give her the gift card, I wanted to give her something to show my appreciation. now it makes me feel better that it’s not going to be considered cheap or an insult.
Post # 10
I thiink you should give her a more generic gift card (why Aveda?) and call it a day. I can’t even imagine tipping that much, so since its only a ‘suggestion’, do exactly what you want.
Post # 11
The only vendors I tipped were my makeup and hair artists who left their studios on a Saturday to make me look beautiful in my bridal suite. Everyone else like the photog, DOC, videographer, caterer I feel like that’s business as usual and tip is worked into the price. Also, like the point you made in the OP, the prices were so high for those other vendors that even a 5% tip would have been several hundred dollars. And that just seems kind of crazy to me!
Post # 12
I am SO sick of vendors expecting tips! SCREW those guidelines! They all work on a set fee and anything extra is nice. There shouldn’t be a SET percentage. The ONLY people who are suppose to get tips are people who actually LIVE off of tips! Servers, bartenders, deliver people, ect. If I am paying $5000 for planning services, that vendor is not getting a tip. If I am paying a caterer X amount of dollars, I’m not tipping him. I will tip the servers and bartenders in person. (I’ve worked as a banquet server. The catering manager never split the tips fairly so I vowed to never give the tip to the manager. Fuck them. They make a set amount.)
Even limo drivers want tips now! Why!? Are they making $2.50/hr? I think not! If I do tip you, be happy it’s something. It’s not going to be a set percentage either.
The ONLY people who have to worry about set percentages of tipping are servers/bartenders because their taxes are based on sales. They should be making at least 15-20% of their total sales.