- 9 years ago
I am not a step parent, but I have watched my Mother-In-Law integrate into this role over the past five plus years.
I think a lot of it comes down to working out with your spouse what your role will be, and making sure you are on the same page. Do the kids have to keep their rooms clean? The house clean? Do they have chores? Are you co parenting or is Dad responsible for getting them to school, etc. The most frustrating thing for my Mother-In-Law is when the dear bonus daughter isn’t doing what she needs to do for school or something, but dad and mom don’t want to confront her or lay down consequences (they are super conflict averse). She has to remind herself she can’t be the sole enforcer.
But there may be things that are your domain depending on the ages of the kids. For example, it is your home too, so they shouldn’t be able to use your stuff without asking. How old are the kids? I think that makes a difference as well–like a toddler might have different and more daily discipline issues.
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