(Closed) Tips for being a grown-ass lady?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@Miss Fish: get really good at keeping a paper trail of stuff and keeping good records! Also, make sure when you are doing stuff like looking for your own insurance you shop around and really do good research to get the best deal. hmmm theres more but thats what i got at the moment lol

Post # 4
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

When it comes to dealing with companies/bills do not let them treat you like sh*t. You are a customer and they should treat you as such. It took me awhile to build up the confidence to write a strongly worded complaint letter or ask to speak to someone’s manager. Now I have no trouble reminding people that I can always take my business elsewhere.

Take the time to educate yourself/shop around before purchasing things like insurance. They’re going to assume they can bullsh*t you into extra stuff you don’t need because you don’t know any better.

Post # 5
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@LGenz: you said do good research and shop around too! yes! i felt like maybe thats just like a common sense thing and not everyone has had the experience of getting suckered and taking a so called deal on things like insurance. I learned my lesson with that. and sometimes if you mention the “good deal” you got from one company the next one will try and beat that deal. just depends though i guess!

Post # 6
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh my! I learned so much in the past 3 years since leaving the nest!

I learned that if you have any questions or you are confused with anything (this mostly applies to paying bills, insurance, etc), don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and call and ask. Better to be overly anal retentive than to miss when something is due.

I just stayed organized, made a file box to keep banking/medical/all that fun stuff in, and I have a planner in my purse of when bills are due, etc. Stay organized and create a budget/be mindful of how much you have at all times and don’t forget to have a savings. You never know when an emergency could arise. Also, always have people you can call if something happens! I moved to a new city after graduation and it was a big struggle at first to establish who could be there for me (since my family lived 2 hrs away!).

Post # 8
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry this is going to be long, but there is a great Maya Angelou poem that my mom sends me every year on my birthday that gives you a great recipe for being a “grown ass woman”:


enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to…

something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…


a youth she’s content to leave behind….

a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to

retelling it in her old age….

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…


a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal,

that will make her guests feel honored…


a feeling of control over her destiny…..


how to fall in love without losing herself..

how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend without

ruining the friendship….


when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…


that she can’t change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…


what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…..

how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…


whom she can trust,

whom she can’t,

and why she shouldn’t take it personally…


where to go…

be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..

or a charming Inn in the woods…

when her soul needs soothing…


What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…

a month…and a year…

Post # 9
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@septcabride:  Love it!


And I was going to add:

Make sure you get things in WRITING!!!  And when speaking on the phone-the date, the person you spoke to and the time.   This may save you many $$$ over time!

Post # 10
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Miss Fish: USAA is pretty much the best insurance around, if you can get it (which you probably can if he’s going to be in the military). It extends to the kids of service members as well, which is the only reason that my fiance is eligible for it!

Post # 12
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Miss Fish: haha, I love the title! 

I basically learned from falling flat on my face.. and ending up homeless. Not fun, definetely always going to keep my crap together now! 😀

@stardustintheeyes: & @LGenz: are right, shop around, know that these people are there to provide a service for you. Also, almost everything is negotiable. 

@soyjoy222: Sooo important!

Keep every document, and for the most important ones, make copies in advance. My purse got stolen one time, and it was hard to identify myself to my bank, etc. without I.D. When I travel, I mostly just keep the copy in my purse and the original in a safe. 

Also, always get everything in writing. 



Post # 13
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@Miss Fish: Be fabulous at whatever you do and look good while you are doing it. Know that prayer, persistence and a positive attitude will get you wherever you want to go in life. Many people will be jealous and envious but being a grown, sexy ass woman isn’t easy. Embrace it…

Post # 14
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@septcabride: I loved seeing that again!  It’s empowering.

I agree with StarIzInkd about the papertrail – get a filing cabinet and lots of folders.  We’re always so tempted to just bring the mail in after a long day and fling it onto the counter but I missed paying our electric bill last month and I’ve never missed a bill EVER!  Luckily there was no late charge or anything, but it woke me right up.  Save your receipts in the same manner, in folders and if you pay bills online, print or screen shot them.  Buy chicken on sale and freeze it in air-tight bags, lol.

Post # 15
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@village_skeptic: YES!  USAA is the best! 🙂

@Miss Fish: Keep file folders for each bill, leases, car maintenance, and anything that could be useful down the road.  Keep irrepaceable documents (titles, deeds, etc) in a fire-proof box.  Shred ANYTHING that comes in your house that has your info on it!  Never, ever throw away credit card offers or anything with identifing info.  Once you pay the electric bill, shred it and so on.

We also keep a file with a copy of DH’s current military orders at home, and he takes one with him whenever he drives anywhere far.  Start a file for Tricare/DEERS because you’ll get letters that have access codes/initial passwords and it’s good to save the originals just in case.

Post # 16
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Definitely second (third, quadrouple?) the paper trail.  And to go a little deeper, check your bank statements, phone bills, etc.  Our bank has screwed us over somewhere between $100-$200 over the past couple of months and if I didn’t check this and complain, we’d be out that money!


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