(Closed) Tips for being on top (sorry if TMI)

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d like tips too.  Usually my legs and arms hurt so bad that I give up!

Post # 4
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

personally, i find it helpful if my man puts his hands on my hips to “guide” my movements to his liking

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’d say the thing to remember is that you have a LOT of options when it comes to this. You can lay flat down (like missionary but flipped). You can sit up (like if you were sitting on your knees). You can lean back with your legs forward (like if you were sitting on the floor with both feet flat on the floor in front of you and resting on your hands behind you). You can both be sitting up and wrap your legs around him. You can turn around and do most of these. You’re really only limited by each of your flexibility and imagination. I think in general it just takes trial and error to figure out what works for you!

Post # 6
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Using the headboard or wall is always a good help. Or one leg off the edge of the bed for leverage.

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I find it helpful to get a good rhythm going, so that the up/down strokes feed off of themselves. Makes it less tiring. Also, having a headboard to hold onto/stabilize myself is also helpful. It took me a while to get the hang of it, too. Now it’s more of a diagonal motion forwards – straight up and down didn;t do much for me, and was a lot harder to maintain energy-wise. Making it slightly more forward made it a lot easier and more stimulating….

Post # 8
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Go to the gym and get your quads and hamstrings well trained πŸ™‚ I’m always better on top when I’ve been working out!

Otherwise, it’s just trial and error – play around, have a giggle, don’t get embarrassed, and just enjoy yourself. (Another couple of options – try sitting backwards occasionally, so your Darling Husband is looking at your back, or squatting over him so you’re on your feet rather than your knees.) Also, remember depending on your size/shape and your DH’s size/shape (I’m talking in terms of your “bits”, not your whole bodies!), this might not be a great position for the two of you. Some positions work great for some couples but not at all for others – not a big deal, just means you have to keep trying πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hehe, fun topic ^_^

Definitely use the headboard.

And put his hands on your hips… make him use those arm muscles!

And when you start slowing down, and need a little bit of a break,

turn yourself around into reverse cowgirl

Go slow… he’ll like the view πŸ˜‰

Post # 10
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@mountainbride… God bless you if you can sustain being on top when you are on your feet instead of your knees.  Hubs loves that but he has to basically hold my up by bum because my quads almost instantly cramp!

Post # 11
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I switch it up a lot from knees to feet. A lot of times I put my hands by his head and kind of lean over and use a sort of rocking motion. This allows for a visual (he’s a boob guy) and for him to play with them if he likes. If my wrists get tired I sit up (while on my knees) and sometimes I lean back and he can use his hands between your legs to allow for more stimulation. It takes a bit to get the hang of it and to find the right rhythm. Ask your Darling Husband what he likes and figure out what you like. I found that I don’t much care for the up and down action and like the rocking better. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had problems with this position when I started as well…I usually sit on top (i.e. with my legs bent, so I am on my knees straddling – but NOT holding up my own weight).  The one thing that made it all of a sudden feel much better for me – this is the position we use most because it “works” for me, if you know what I mean – is to reverse your motion.  I always thought you had to move your pelvis forward when he moves forward, but in fact when his hips are coming towards you, push your pelvis back against him.  This may seem obvious to some people, but as soon as I figured that out – WOW.  SO much better.  My hips still get sore sometimes, but if that happens, we stop for a minute and I straighten my legs out and then I am fine again.  As for my upper body, I usually lie against him, with my head off to one side.  This way you feel really close to one another and can kiss each other if you want to as well.  Plus your arms don’t get sore from holding yourself upright. 

Post # 13
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think to help get in the groove (or “set” the groove), sort of make sure that you are in control. Go at the speed you find comfortable, even if that means trying out a few different speeds. If he is moving around too much for you to get in your groove, slow it way down, hold down his chest/arms/hands/etc. Second (third, fourth?) the use of the headboard/wall/whatever you can. 

I also find it easier to “sit” on my feet, rather than my knees sometimes….it’s a different feeling too.

You can start slow, and almost lay right on top of him – like, chest to chest, and have him hold your hips or back if you like. As you both get more comfortable and “in tune” with each other, slowly work your way upwards. Just remember you have a lot of options πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I second the suggestion that reverse cowgirl is easier that facing forward. And also, sitting on the couch– him sitting and you straddling him works well too.

Post # 15
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hahahaha, Fi sits at the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor, and I sit on him towards him, and lift my knees up, and put my arms around his neck, and he puts his arms around my whole body, I like this position as it gets me into it more, and (AHHH! Fiance just read what I wrote, and is smirking and shaking his head, haha) allows me to not get as tired and sore as much.

Post # 16
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

lol @SoonToBeMrs.Kiss …busted! πŸ™‚ 

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