Post # 1
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I talk a lot about our plans of spending the future together. So today he casually asked me (though I could see he must have been thinking about this a lot) about how he should approach my dad.
At first I just had to smile and told him not to worry, my dad is an easy (but sometimes cynical) guy. Upon more reflection, I gave him some hints on what time of the day my dad is in his best mood (my dad is not a morning person). But that’s as far as I’ve come.
Does anyone here have further thoughts on the topic? Is your guy stressed about this?
Post # 3
Honesty, confidence, manners. Asking the parents is a very traditional move and requires more of a traditional approach – even if your parents don’t believe it’s necessary. It will only make it all the more impressive. My guy has no plans to do this just yet, or maybe ever…I’ve never asked. 🙂 But I’m sure your SO will do fine. I’ve often found the thought of something is usually worse than the actual event. Good luck to the both of you!
Post # 4
I think this really depends on your dad. Is he a very formal guy, or would being approached in that way make him nervous? Is he a straight to the point guy, or would he appreciate some small talk?
Post # 5
That’s great that he asked you since you know your Dad best. My bf was very nervous about asking. I’m not sure exactly how he asked, but I know he took my dad to lunch. My dad won’t give me details and my bf doesn’t know that I know. If your dad is not in town, I would suggest he call him after dinner. I know my dad is always happier after he eats. Best of luck to your SO!
Post # 6
Haha, well, the asking was a sure thing since we started dating. A couple of months into our relationship his parents worried my Boyfriend or Best Friend might be head over heels & hasty, but I laughed it off when he told me “because you’d have to ask my dad first” (we’re LDR atm). I hope that your guy will make the move to your dad ask for you hand… if that’s what you want. Maybe it’ll be a big surprise?
I don’ think my dad is dead set on being asked, but I’m sure he’ll appreciate the sentiment. My Boyfriend or Best Friend will be staying with us (the whole family) for a week, so he’ll have several opportunities to ask… no need to fuss about special dinners.
I’m touched by all the care my Boyfriend or Best Friend has shown in planning the next step. And I think it’s really cute that your dad gave you a “heads up” without your Boyfriend or Best Friend knowing. Cute.
Post # 7
@SnowflakeDS: I’d suggest telling your SO to find something that your father enjoys doing (i.e., going to a baseball game, etc), and take him to one.
J wants to ask my dad to go golfing (my dad loves golf). I dunno… Find something that they both have in common, even if it’s just a game of pool and a couple of beers!
Post # 8
I think these are great suggestions for the OP!
Post # 9
That’s what DH did. My dad loves going out to breakfast, so he asked him to go out with him. DH brought the ring and told him why he wanted to marry me, why he thought he would be a good husband, what his general plans were for a timeline/job (cause he was still in school), and that he wanted to take care of me… etc. All the stuff dads want to know. 🙂
An activity would give them something to do while talking… DH was pretty nervous just sitting there with my dad!