- Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA
Oh Bee, I feel your pain. I, too, was frustrated by my job to the point that it was affecting my mental health on a daily basis -but I have a family and couldn’t just quit and hope I found something new before we were all homeless. And job hunting is just so brutal. There were many days I would just lay in bed and wonder where I went wrong. Why I wasn’t getting any call backs on all those applications I was sending out, and I just felt like I wasn’t good enough for my job, and also not good enough to find a new one. I was seriously depressed. It sucks, I know.
Here’s what I did to deal with it until I DID finally land a new job (my official last day at my current job is TOMORROW!). Maybe some of this will be helpful to you right now:
I had to stop letting my entire life revolve around my job. I KNOW this is easier said than done, but I seriously had to force myself to put my job out of my mind and enjoy other parts of my life fully from time to time, be it a night out with friends or a cozy night watching Netflix with my wife.
I focused a LOT of my energy on job searching, and that meant revising my resume multiple times, joining multiple job boards, reaching out to recruiters and hiring managers on LinkedIn after applying for the jobs they posted, etc. I would often spend my entire lunch breaks and my weekends doing this every single day.
I put some serious boundaries in place at work. This was scary, but it was necessary. My boss constantly told me if I wanted to succeed in this role, I’d have to work around the clock, and would chastise me if I didn’t. I finally had to put my foot down and tell him NO. I need work/life balance. Period.
From what you’ve said, they can’t really afford to fire you, Bee. You’re literally the only one doing the work or who even knows how. Tell your boss he either gets you the support you need, or things are simply not going to get done. Period. And demand a raise while you’re at it. Believe it or not, YOU are in the power position here.
Also, speak up next time he shoots down your ideas or takes credit. Call him out on his bullshit. This is so typical in the corporate world, where women are shot down or don’t get to take credit for their own ideas, and women tend to smile politely and let it happen, then secretly fume about it later.
Next time, say something like “Well, Kyle, I appreciate that you liked my idea, but I would also appreciate it if you gave me proper credit for my contributions. I feel I deserve recognition for my efforts, as anyone would.” or “Can you break down for me why exactly you feel this idea won’t work? Perhaps you have a better idea to offer instead?”
Good luck, Bee. I know it’s really rough right now, and I’m hoping you land something amazing soon. In the meantime, though, ASSERT yourself more!