- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2017
I know I can’t be the only one here that deals with anxiety, so I thought I would ask for some advice here. I’ve always dealt with anxiety, but it’s gotten progressively worse in the last few months. I’m sorry in advance for how lengthy this is – I’m just looking for some support and advice from anyone who’s dealt with similar anxiety issues.
I’ve tried medication before, and I honestly hated the way it made me feel. I would eventually be open to trying medication again, but Darling Husband and I plan to start TTC in a year or so, so I’d rather not start medication, knowing that It will take a few months to help, then by the time I’m used to it, I will have to wean off of it. Plus, I saw the struggles my sister went through getting off of her medication for TTC, pregnancy and breastfeeding, and I really do not want to go through that.
Here are examples of the anxiety I experience..
I tend to have separation anxiety when I’m away from Darling Husband for an extended period, which only started in the last few months (we have been cohabitating for about 2 years now, married 2 months). In March we moved to new town 3 hours away from our old town, and I still work in my old town, but telecommute all but 3 days a month. On the days I have to go work in my old town, my anxiety is at its worst, which I do not understand because I’m normally excited to be back on campus and see all of my collegues, and I get to see my sister, niece and friends while I’m there for work. Before our move, we had a pretty healthy balance of spending time apart – he did things with his friends and family without me and I did the same. Now it’s like since we moved and do not know anyone here yet, I’ve become too dependent on the time I spend with him. I used to be very independent in all aspects of life, so I hate that I’ve become so dependent on him.
I used to have panic attacks every once in awhile, but they hadn’t been an issue for quite some time (last one had been well over 3 years ago), until I had one two days ago. It happened while I was driving, which freaks me out the most. I was heading to Chicago for a work conference, and some construction delayed me, making me arrive during the worst of morning rush hour. I’m NOT used to driving in traffic like this, and my GPS kept losing signal and I missed my turn more than once and it ended up resulting in me driving around for an extra 45 minutes, turning around and getting lost, trying to find the hotel. Darling Husband called me because he was worried that I hadn’t told him I’d arrived, and I kept ignoring his calls so I could concentrate on the road. When I finally answered, I started bawling and had a full blown panic attack and had no way to pull over. He got me calmed down and helped me figure out where I needed to go, but that anxious feeling lasted all day.
I also tend to borrow troubles. I worry about something before it even happens. I make up scenarios in my head of things that could happen (though most of the time are unlikely), and I analyze what I could do to prevent said issue from happening, or how I will react to said issue. It’s honestly exhausting. I was diagnosed with OCD and as a “chronic worrier” years ago, and I guess these feelings are a combination of the two coming out.
I know most of you will suggest seeing a counselor, which I already have in the works. I’ve made an appointmnet with a new counselor for next week because I know how much a professional can help – I’ve been in counseling before and it helped me so much. I’m just trying to get some suggestions of how others deal with their anxiety in the time being, because the panic attack I had a few days ago was honestly scary, and made me realize that I need to get my anxiety under control.