Tips for keeping your mind off not being engaged?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2019

grackle :  it took us five years of being in a relationship before he proposed to me and I have had the feeling you did. I eventually tried to think why I was feeling that way and came up with the idea and theory that I was comparing our relationship to other people, social media, and what I expected, not reality. Just remember that him not proposing does not mean he does not love you. He is literally probably trying to figure out how to do it. I need to my fiancé that I wanted it to be done under a waterfall because we love being outdoors and he ended up doing it in our bedroom. At first I was like wow, not how I pictured it, but I realized it was perfect and personal and intimate.  Just keep being in love and the time will come. There is no need to rush the future! 

Post # 17
Member
34 posts
Newbee

For me, when I was all engagement crazed and he wasn’t quite ready yet, I just decided to enjoy our life as it is for the time being, as we have a great life together! So I was able to put it on the back burner awhile. And now a year later I know it’s coming any day! I know that’s a lot easier said than done, but if you can really think about it that way, it does help. When you sit and obsess over one specific thing, it tends to take away from the actual amazing relationship you already have. That’s what I found to be true anyway. If you can’t do that on your own, I think the above suggestion of therapy is a great one! 

Post # 19
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2020

grackle :  First of all, I am in the same (waiting) boat with you, and I can completely understand how hard it can be. It really can be anxiety-provoking, especially for those of us who are planners and don’t like uncertainty.

It sounds cliche, but the best advice I have gotten is to focus on my own goals and hobbies. I’ve made a concious effort to spend more time with my close girlfriends and my family. I go to the gym, and I enjoy some solo activities like going shopping, going on walks in my city, or going for coffee alone.

It seems like a really good sign that HE brought up wanting to marry in the summer!! Enjoy this phase of your realtionship, and hang in there. I think your guy sounds sincere.

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