MemberOur LDR finally ends in two weeks! I’m so excited, but nervous about moving in with SO since we have never lived in the same place. Any tips would be appreciated 🙂
MemberAre you moving into a place that’s new to both of you? That’s always best. Then you equally own the space and you can figure out where everything goes together.
My biggest tip would be to communicate lots and lots all the time. We all make the mistake from time to time of thinking that other people think the way we do. He’s not going to know what he did wrong if you don’t talk about it. He doesn’t think like you. But also, don’t let yourself fall into the trap of criticizing the way he does things. The dishes will still get washed if the fork tines are put up or down in the dishwasher. Don’t expect him to do everything the way you do it. Pick your battles. Most of them are just not worth it!
MemberA good friend of mine did this-she was in Boston, he was abroad, they moved together to the midwest. She told me that it was tough at times. They are both nice, easygoing people, but they had different ways of doing things. Expect it to take a while to find your flow together, and expect silly misunderstandings. Things that have always been done in a certain way in your household will have been done completely differently in his.
What are your current living situations?
Memberkoi424: I wish it was a place new to both of us! I will be moving into the two bedroom SO shares with his brother until their lease is up in February, when SO’s brother and his brother’s gf are moving in together – they will be taking all the furniture that is in the apartment currently to their new place. We will then be renewing the lease on his current apartment and moving my furniture in (it will be in my parent’s GIANT garage until February). We hope to buy a house in the next year or two, so that will give us plenty of time to look. I know it will be rocky at first, especially with so many moving parts, but hopefully it will be a good exercise in flexibility for me haha. I love your comment about the forks, you are completely right! I can be stubborn and stuck in my ways, especially since I’ve lived alone for the last few years. I so appreciate your input!
xstitchbride425: I am currently living about 3 hours south of SO in South Florida (he lives in Central Florida).
MemberLittleMissRuca: So excited for you! My FI and I did a LDR for three years before moving in together. I would say communication is best. If he does something, like a little habit, that bugs you, don’t let it build up. That was the adjustment that we had to make. Having lived separately for so long, you need to learn to live with another person.you will both have to make compromises on certain things, but that’s how you’re going to grow closer 🙂
Congrats!
MemberLittleMissRuca: nice, my BFF lives in Orlando. Do you currently each live alone or with other people?
eta: saw your SO lives with family
xstitchbride425.
MemberMy husband and I were long distance for most of our relationship. I would make frequent trips to visit for long weekends, where we would generally “play house” and pretend like I wasn’t going to be leaving shortly after.
My best advice is to learn to be flexible. It wasn’t ever hard, but communicating on what bothers you is what will keep you from wanting to hit him with a frying pan when he puts the measuring cup in a bottom cabinet…
MemberDH and I were long distance before moving in together (we had never lived in the same country before!). We joke because we moved in together before we ever even went to the movies together. I moved to his country. Circumstances were in favor of me being the one to move as I got laid off from my job and my lease was ending.
Honestly our biggest problem was that I felt lonely and isolated at times because I couldn’t work at first and I didn’t have a car and we were living somewhere rural. Other than that things went really well. I agree with other posters that communication is key. I never bottled up any emotions (there were tears at times!). We also tried to be fair with chores (I would do dishes if he cooked, vice versa). I moved into his apartment so I tried to get some decorations that were my own (my own girly towels, some throw blankets, photo frames of us, etc) to make it feel more like our place. Our transition went pretty smoothly considering all the obstacles we faced! Moving in together is the best. Good luck 🙂
MemberI agree 100% with what the PPs have said. Communication is the most important thing for you guys. Things will be different for both of you – you will have moved your life and he will have been used to living with a guy and having basically a bachelor apartment.
My main concern when I moved was that in the rough times, I would blame everything on the move (I changed my life and moved here for YOU, and now its all gone to shit, this is a mess etcetc). Of course, every now and then I did have meltdowns, but we talked about it (and SO was unbelievably considerate and understanding about it).
The other thing is to remember to savour each other’s time. When we were long distance, every last second mattered, and we managed to cut down the airport run to the finest hair (Last ones on the plane). I’m not saying you take each other forgranted, but that after a while of living together, it’s less whirlwind and more steady contentment.
Following on from that, you should still go out on dates! It’s too easy to slip into a sweats and TV routine 🙂
Congratulations! LDR suck, but its the BEST feeling in the world to be cuddling on a Sunday night and know that, no, you don’t have to say goodbye anymore!
Good luck 🙂
