(Closed) Tips for officiating…

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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cowoman:  Our officiant wasn’t a friend, but she took the time to get to know us and was a great officiant. I liked that she respected our beliefs and incorporated what she knew about us into her words. She always had a great attitude and was easygoing yet willing to understand our vision. 

As far as what to wear, I think anything business casual to formal should be fine. You want to look nice but not too flashy. 

Post # 4
1839 posts
Buzzing bee

Keep it short and sweet.. Don’t go into any long winded and only vaguely relevant stories about love or marriage, but make it personal as well. These are your friends so I think it’s fair to assume that you know them well, but take the time to find out what they want out of their ceremony. 

Are you a guest at the wedding as well as the officiant? I would say stick with attire that is somewhere between formal and business casual depending on how formal the wedding is.

Post # 5
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Our officiant was a friend first time officiating anything! She did amazing, way better than anyone we could have hired. She just wore a nice black dress with a turquoise top. My favorite thing I would HiGhlY recommend is she emailed us both about a week before the wedding privately and asked us how we knew the other person was the one. What each other wrote was a secret until she took our words and put them together nicely in the opening address. It was beautiful, I cried , he cried, everyone cried. I’m also not a cryer so I was shocked. It was like writing our own vows but without the stress. People kept upcoming up to us after saying how on point our words about each other were and how we made them cry and that it was the best ceremony they had been to. We used the book sacred ceremony to walk us through putting together the ceremony. Got it on amazon 🙂 good luck! Eta- I think she let people sit right after I was down the aisle 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  Star116062.
Post # 7
10220 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

 Proabably not relevant , but I hate it when the officiant  starts  making comments to  the effect that that such and such is the behaviour/attitude /emotion   the guest ought  to be engaging in.   You know, “at this   this time weshould be remembering to be nice to our  own partners and parents  etc etc  etc  etc”  Those sentiments are fine , but I dont want  to be   lectured in them  , nor have my ceremony  etc used as a sermonising  event . ( church weddings it’s pretty   inevitable , but not a secular service )  

Oh  and I’d be very careful  of adding in something  the bride and groom  didn’t know was going to be there. It worked beautifully for Star above but has potential for  disaster .

Post # 8
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Santa Barbara Courthouse & Nectar

We’re having a friend marry us, and because she knows the two of us well and was there from the beginning of our relationship there will be a story in our ceremony from her about our relationship and each of our relationships with her. (Hopefully that makes sense!) I think it’d be a nice touch, since you are friends with the bride and groom, to incorporate some sort of story in there (i.e. when you knew they’d end up getting married or why they compliment each other from your eyes). 

She’s planning to wear a knee-length floral-print dress that she ran by me for the go-ahead to wear.


ETA — I provided a script in my post about ceremonies. There’s also a tree ceremony thread. Hope that helps!

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