(Closed) Tips for staying sane over the holidays? (and dealing with extended families!)

posted 9 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

My grandmom is very rude and mean and frequently makes mean comments to my DH, so my strategy around her (I only see her once or twice a year) is to keep DH out of the conversation and just physically avoid her. I usually say hello and goodbye, but otherwise I am in a different room. I will make sure to have at least one quick convo, usually complimenting her on her outfit or something to keep it as upbeat as possible, but then I suddenly need to use the bathroom or whatever to get away.

Post # 5
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

my mom drives me crazy, so w/o a few drinks, my nerves are on edge and it’s challenging to keep calm.

but it’s a catch 22  because I’m worried that my dad will not approve of the drinking. I am capable of drinking responsibly, but my dad will only have one beer and I feel like he notices when I have a few. I’m 36 and I’m still seeking dad’s approval!  but it’s because I love him.

I love my mom too of courrse, but aaaaaaargh, she can make it so challenging. even my SO, who is extremely patient and cheerful– even he can’t handle her sometimes. 

Post # 6
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i’m dreading the holidays… we spent a fortune on tickets, we have to fly literally 3000 miles,  i have to take a ton of time off work, and i dont even want to go.   i’m hoping that we stay busy, distracted, and my mom is too busy picking on my brother and his fiance to be mean to me.  otherwise, i will smile and nod, disengage, and drink heavily.  oy… so looking forward to our first married holiday next year!

Post # 8
3942 posts
Honey bee

We are expected to travel to 3 states in one day, which is what we did last year, and having to deal with family on top of that drives me insane. So I totally understand what you are dealing with!

My strategy is to let things go in one ear and out the other. If I let myself get upset over the small, annoying things that theyre saying then i will slowly lose my mind. I also try to avoid those horrendous family members who only say mean things, but its tough because my family is very small. For example, my grandmother is very rude and has no filter. So I plan to keep the conversation very neutral with her and not talk too much about personal things. It sucks..but I otherwise I will go insane.

I also will  be drinking wine throughout the day 🙂

Post # 9
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

View original reply
@oracle: I’m an extremely silly / happy drunk so it doesn’t worry me.

here is a different tactic that works well for me, but it’s extremely morbid: I remind myself that my mom is getting older and how sad I will be when she’s gone.  it helps me be way more patient. 

and/or there’s an old trick that’s hokey as all hell but it works: when somebody is being irritating, I smile. I swear it seems to have a mood elevating effect on me.  but when I’m irritated, it is just so hard to even pretend to smile!

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