(Closed) Tips for toddlers and their tantrums?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My daughter is 16-months-old and I say that she’s discovered injustice.  🙂  Other than ignoring her, I can still distract her sometimes unless she’s over-tired.  That’s about it.

Post # 4
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MrsDPal811:  Time out in a separate room? I’ve found this to be helpful. Eventually they want to come out more calmly. 

Post # 5
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You just have to ride it out. Don’t back down on whatever consequence you’re enacting (time out, toy taken away, whatever). Unfortunately it’s a bumpy road and the best thing you can do is to just let her flip her lid, you walk away. When she’s calmed down, you come back and ask if she’s done, explain what happened and why that’s not an appropriate reaction, tell her you hope next time she’ll do better, give her a hug and move on. I know at 14 mos that’s a lot for their little heads to take in, but what else can you do? If you give in to whatever they’re upset about, it sets you up for a lot of headache down the road.

If she’s having a tantrum in public, take her to the car or a quiet place where she’s not disturbing anyone if possible. Even if it means leaving your shopping in the middle of the store. I’ve done it quite a few times with my stepson, lol! She’ll grow out of it, don’t worry! Learning that the world isn’t fair is always a tough stage!

Post # 6
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tantrums are completely normal and healthy behavior.  Mainly, as Gemstone said, you ride them out.  Just make sure she’s safe and stay calm.  Don’t reprimand her, just comfort her the best you can.  Children learn in stages and the tantrum stage is their first step towards thinking independently.  So try to see it as a positive step forward.  That said, here are some tips:

Never, ever allow her to lash out at YOU or anyone else.  Put a stop to that immediately.

Don’t use phyical force in any way, such as smacking or slapping.  If she’s reaching for something dangerous, like an outlet, gently take her little hands in yours and distract her away. 

Distraction works wonders with toddlers.  Find something funny or a favorite toy.

The most important thing for you to remember is that she’s not being “bad” by doing this, she is temporarily overwhelmed with emotion.  If you make her feel secure and safe and stay calm, the tantrum will be over sooner.

Another tip:  Never, ever give in to a tantrum.  If she is having a tantrum because you said NO about something, stick to that NO.  Or you’ll live to regret it, lol.  It’s a test and you cannot back down.

One thing that worked with my son when he was little was this:  When he would have a tantrum and throw his little self on the floor kicking and screaming, I would sit next to him and rub his little back and say, “It’s ok, baby, it will be ok.” 

When he was older I taught him to learn to ask for things calmly.  I told him if he asked for something and I said NO, and he thought it was not fair, to CALMLY ask me to reconsider.  And then I may reconsider the NO.  However, a tantrum or bad attitude was an automatic “This will stay a NO.”  It worked like a charm.  People were amazed.  He would ask, for example, for candy and I would say no.  And he would stay perfectly calm.  Once a cashier asked how that happend.  And my son looked at her (age 3 mind you) and said, “Well, I know if I’m good now my mommy will get me something later, like a cookie after lunch.  So I don’t have to have the candy bar now.”  I was so proud of my little pupster.

Children are very smart.  😉

Post # 8
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Er..welll..i used the same thecnique with both my cousin (she’s 22 now!) and my 2 daughters (12 and 4 years old) – i distracted them alright..by turning them upside down (literally) and tickling their bellies..they were “forced” to laugh and the tantrum would pass!!! It worked! Now please don’t tell me i was horrible..

Post # 9
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I guess I am the mean mommy here. I would ignore him and wait until the tantrum was over and ask if he was done. If he was then we went on as usual and we would talk out what upset him and how he should have reacted. Timeouts never worked and there was a time where he would hit me. I would then restrain him and again we would talk it out when he was calmer.

Post # 10
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

The latest studies say the best thing to do is completely ignore it during the emotional release.  Everything you attempt to do at that state will make the tantrum part longer.  Ten hen they are calm give them a few words (tasking the toy away must have made you angry) and move on.

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