(Closed) Tips on B listing guests!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

great tip! thanks for posting

Post # 4
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have a work friend who had a small wedding (due to her to die for venue size), when she invited her B list, she included a hand written note saying that she was sorry for the short notice, but she would love to have that person present at her wedding, and included an explanation about the small wedding size. I think it was really well received.

Post # 6
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would say just make a second (longer) deadline for the people who were B-listed, and a shorter deadline for those who were A-listed. For example, send out invites 10-8 weeks in advance, then make the deadline for 2-3 weeks later; then send out the second batch of invites 8-5 weeks in advance, and make the deadline for a week or two before the wedding.

And obviously don’t send out Save the Dates to people who you’ve B-listed! That’s just unnecessary, and obvious. 

Post # 7
1428 posts
Bumble bee

LOL Erin! Thanks for the heads up….that’s something I never thought about…but now hee hee….I think I’ve been a B-lister before.

Post # 8
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ha ha, I have been B-listed more than once! I am that innocuous, pleasant aquaintance that will always bring a decent gift and be decidely no-fuss, which makes me prime B-list material for people who need to fill a few seats!

I think one good way to go about it is to call the person and pretend that you couldn’t find their current address. Assuming people on the B list are people you are not super close to, this should seem believable. 

Post # 9
278 posts
Helper bee

I was B listed once ( for the first time this year!)  It didn’t feel good at all but I understood the whole guestlist chaos brides go through.  I ended up declining for other reasons though but mainly because it was too obvious and I felt offended. 

One good tip is try not to B list people that are good friends with someone from the A list.  Because there will be someone that will go, "Hey, are you going to so and so’s wedding on so and so date?"  The B-lister will end up having a blank look and a not so good feeling.  Sometimes, you can’t avoid it but in any changes that you can you should definitely consider. 

Post # 10
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was really worried about this but we were lucky and got some "no" RSVPs back quickly.  That allowed us to send out our B-List invites last night, 6.5 weeks before the wedding and 3.5 weeks before the RSVP deadline. 

Now I’m just worried that the B-List people will notice that they didn’t get Save-The-Date Cards.

Post # 11
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We’re just getting to what I consider a do-or-die point for inviting the B-listers. Our RSVP date is August 1 and the first wave of invites were sent on June 12. I was hoping that by now, we’d have enough regrets that I could send out the second batch without it being glaringly obvious that they were not included in the first round. But we haven’t reached a critical mass of regrets yet. I think many of our guests with potential schedule and/or financial conflicts are waiting to see if they can be resolved.

So…should I ditch the whole idea of inviting B-listers altogether? All but one of them are out of town, so if they receive the invitation with just two weeks notice, it will be very difficult for them to make travel plans. I don’t know what to do!

Post # 12
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve been a B list invitee before too. No sweat-I thought it was nice of them to think of me. You just can’t invite everyone you want.

Post # 13
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I’ve been B-listed before too! It was my husband’s cousin. We weren’t offended b/c we know how hard it is to cut the guest list to begin with. It was thoughtful that he wanted to invite us, but couldn’t b/c of guest list constraints. He ended up calling us to invite us, but we had other plans anyway.

I also B-listed one co-worker. I didn’t know him at the time that we made our guest list, and my husband and I became good friends with him and his girlfriend. It was about 2 weeks before the wedding, and I handed him an invite with an explanation. He was totally cool about it, they came and even caught the garter and bouquet! In the end, I’m really glad I invited them and they came!

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