Tips on being a good long term house guest

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 17
307 posts
Helper bee

everythingpink :  I would make them dinner once/twice a week and maybe a nice weekend brunch.

Pick up groceries a few times/restock items and just stay tidy which sounds you are already on top of!

I would also definatily buy a gift at the end to say thank you!

Post # 18
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

take your work stipends and buy a nice gift. $40/night for 4 weeks = $1120 by my math. Throw in a little of your own money too.  If she’s been wanting a new TV, that will more than cover it. If she’s been hoping to get some landscaping done, make it happen.  Or get her a nice tennis bracelet or a new iPad. Use that stipend money for something you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford to give her.  

Post # 19
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’m going to be the weird one here, in addition to doing all of the kind thank yous others have suggested, I would try to find one night a week that you can maybe be elsewhere for dinner. She will never ask for a break, but if you say Hey I’m meeting colleagues for dinner this night” she gets a free night off. Having one night to myself is a must for me, maybe she’s different

Post # 22
162 posts
Blushing bee

I’m gonna be the weird one and reflect upon my own in law and family dynamics. Getting an expensive giift would not be well received. 4 weeks is not a massive imposition when they have invited you to be there. My parents and in laws would love t if we were there and being polite and clean is only thing expected. Buying some groceries, dinner and wine would be plenty as a thank you. They would be weird about being super thanked by people that they consider family.

Post # 23
467 posts
Helper bee

I agree that giving a lavish gift for staying with family for a couple weeks would come across awkwardly and make the whole thing feel too transactional. I was thinking of a gift like a vase or bottle of wine…

Post # 24
1012 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

zeebee1 :  If you’re weird then I’m weird too.  My family would love if either my brother and his family or myself and my husband stayed with them.  They’d be seriously put off by an expensive gift or by us leaving them money as a thank you.  It sounds as if ops family is the same so i think cooking dinner or buying an inexpensive hostess gift, like a candle and a bottle of wine,  would be more well received.   

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