Post # 1
I really don’t want to go into the specifics of what I’m dealing with here, because it’s a very specific situation and I could go on for pages about it. But to sum up, someone close to me has just gotten engaged (a surprise that no one saw coming) and started planning their wedding for very soon after mine. They will have a much bigger budget than me, much more time (ie on a day to day basis) to plan, and they are one of the most crafty and creative people I know. I am already positive they are going to have an incredible, unique, amazing wedding. Moreover, many of the most important people in both our lives will be at both weddings.
Until now in the process, I’ve had very little jealousy over other weddings. I’ve known people getting married, been to other weddings, but they were very similar in budget and style to what mine will end up being, didn’t have much overlap in people attending, and I knew that my wedding will have lots of unique details that will make it special. But now this bomb has been dropped on me and I just feel like there is no way my wedding will live up to this other one. But I’m putting *so* much effort into my wedding, it is totally consuming my life and now I just feel like it will be a big let down.
I keep telling myself that all that matters is that I get married to the guy I love and have an amazing day with friends and family. But I just can’t help this nagging, jealous, competitive voice in my head now.
I know other people have gone through this– how did you get over it?
Post # 3
I still am getting over it, but I’m getting there by reminding myself that the people coming to my wedding love me, and just want my wedding to be my taste and style – not bigger, or fancier, or more luxurious.
A month before our wedding some of our friends are getting married – she comes from an old-money family and has always had the best of everything. She’s ridiculously beautiful, and sweet, and adorable, and has maybe the coolest taste I’ve ever seen. Style gurus are following her Pinterest boards. Her wedding will be a.maz.ing. In every possible way. How could I compete with that? On my teeney budget? With my moderately decent but slightly weird taste?
I don’t. I’m just doing my thing my way, and it will be mine.
Trust that your wedding will be great because it will be YOURS. Imbue every part of it with your own spirit, and there will be no comparison with anyone else’s.
Post # 4
@ProfessorGirl: Thanks. Good to hear others have the same issues. It’s true that her wedding wouldn’t necessarily fit my personality (and vice versa). I just need to get these competitive feelings to go away.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Its not about how much money is spent and location its about 2 people being madly in love. My friend is getting married 2 months after me and her family has money and not once have I thought about how her wedding will be. I love her to death and she will be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding but she is going to have the wedding that she wants, and I will have the wedding I want. Both our colors are purple.
Just focus on all the wonderful years ahead with the man of your dreams.
Post # 6
I try to focus on the one thing I have that other girls don’t– my Fiance. yeah, it’s kind of sappy and whatever, but getting to be with him and start our lives together is way more exciting than chair covers when it comes down to it!
Post # 8
Just gotta say, i have been to weddings with lots of lovely decorations and tons of alcohol, and i have been to weddings on a farm where the food was a pig roast. I can tell you that the guests wont care either way. Because the wedding i went to that was super pretty and expensive was boring as hell and since no one thought the 2 people should be getting married it wasn’t fun. Where the wedding on the farm was nice and relaxed and the food was damn amazing so we all had a great time.
Budget means nothing. Seriously.
Post # 9
One of the most beautiful, heartfelt weddings I’ve ever seen/heard about was my grandparents’ – planned with 2 weeks’ notice (they met in October, got engaged a month later and switched from a Feb to a December wedding at the beginning of December) and held in my great grandmother’s living room at Christmas.
It was tiny, homemade cake, no decorations in leui of the Christmas ones already up – but it was wonderful because it was about the love they had for each other. I tear up when I see the pictures because it’s so clear how happy everyone is.
Point of this anecdote: we get SO caught up in throwing gigantic parties and impressing people, but at the end of the day your wedding is and should be about the life you are starting with your husband-to-be. Everything else is just hype.