(Closed) Tips on having visitors/visiting with newborn/babies

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tip – ensure people aren’t feeling under the weather before they visit. You will be amazed that people will come visit despite having a cold. Also ask people to wash hands before touching the baby. Don’t worry about seeming rude, everyone will agree it is a good idea.

If the baby gets fussy just say, “Excuse me but that is his hungry cry, I need to take him for a feed!” Sometimes certain people are reluctant to give up the baby. Be blunt “No, really, I need to take him now.”

Post # 3
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

1. Have anyone who wants to hold the baby wash their hands and use a receiver.

2. Just be mindful of baby’s schedule (diaper change, feeding, naps) and tell your visitor that “oh! it’s time for baby’s meal (nap, etc)”

People understand. I think as a new mom we overthink everything and try to micromanage basic interactions (my daughter just turned 1 and I still do it) but most people get it.

Post # 5
Member
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would just take it as it comes. Most reasonable adults understand that babies need to be fed when they are hungry and returned to their parents if they start crying. If you’re not comfortable breastfeeding in front of your visitors, you can either excuse yourself to a bedroom or baby’s nursery or stay where you are and add a cover (if you can get the hang of it!) I was comfortable breastfeeding in front of my parents, but when Mother-In-Law came over, I’d just say, “okay, time to feed the baby!” and go into the bedroom. (It’s actually a nice way to take a quick break if visitors are momentarily overwhelming.) 

Also, make sure your partner is on the same page as far as when and how to wrap visits up. Again, pretty much everyone understands that new parents are exhausted, so don’t be afraid to say, “it’s been lovely seeing you, but we need some rest. Thanks so much for stopping by!” If you have a particularly difficult relative or friend (especially if the relative is on your partner’s side) pre-arrange a signal between the two of you that means, “honey, you need to get this person out of here now before I lose it.” 

Post # 7
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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FromA2B2013:  Especially with newborns I feel like 99% of people are super understanding and wont even question it when you say you need to take them back.  Also, during the first few weeks, try to schedule visits for shortly after a feeding, that way baby is fed and content and will likely sleep or be “milk drunk” through most of the visit anything, reducing the stimulation and chance of a fussy baby. 

EDIT – Just saw your update about feeding on demand, even with that babies will tend to set their own schedule so after a bit of time you’ll learn about when to expect to be feeding, etc and can plan accordingly.  

Post # 10
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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FromA2B2013:  Even with waiting you’re a lot more generous than us! I have put a moratorium on visitors for the first 4 weeks after the birth.  

This is partly because we live in a different state so 99% of our visitors will be flying in and I’m just not sure I can handle house guests and a newborn as a FTM (there’s virtually no hotels in our area).  My Father-In-Law and 2 close friends are the only exceptions – my Father-In-Law because he lives close by, and would be really hurt if we don’t let him visit at least once since he’s cut his own vacation short in order to be here for the birth, and my friends because they’ll come and help cook and clean! 🙂

Plus, they’ll take our 2 dogs to go play which will be nice to keep them well exercised! 

Post # 11
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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FromA2B2013:  Also, on the feeding when other people are around thing, with my best friend’s daughter, she ended up using a cover even when she had people who weren’t bothered by it (like her mom or me) because baby didn’t want to focus on eating, she’d keep trying to tilt her head to be able to see who was talking, or watching their dogs play, so the cover helped her be more efficient at eating.  Also, as she got older and could push the cover off, my friend ended up popping into the other room for 20 min or so, just to make sure she got some quality eating before getting distracted.  

Post # 12
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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FromA2B2013:  lol both. mainly the baby. people will touch their arms and feet and that’s ok. just wipe baby down after they leave.

i laugh because there were some instances where my daughter proceeded to have a blow out while being held by visitors but the receiver protected the person’s clothes. it all worked out and made for a funny memory.

ETA: Also the receiver makes it easier to handle a newborn. Babies are so tiny and a receiver gives a little added security while handling their delicate little squishy bodies.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  TaurianDoll.
Post # 14
Member
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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FromA2B2013:  Oh, definitely don’t go to another room for anyone else’s comfort! Your house, your baby, your breasts… You feed that baby wherever you want to! I wasn’t comfortable BF’ing in front of some of my guests, which is why I’d retreat to the bedroom. But if you’re happy BF’ing where you are, by all means, go for it! 🙂

I never got the hang of breastfeeding under a cover. (Except for one  hungry baby emergency on a bus, in a Moby wrap.) There’s a whole lot of pinching and aiming and re-positioning in the beginning – putting a cover on after I’d gotten him latched would really be closing the barn door after the horse is out. 

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