(Closed) Tips on not getting discouraged?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I myself don’t have any advice yet! I just finished my BCP pack and going to start TTC πŸ™‚  I would love to know what advice the ladies give!

I think I will think about it a lot with charting and checking OPK.. but I’m going to try and keep myself busy and push it away for the time being πŸ™‚  I am an obsessor so we will see how that goes lol

Post # 4
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ohhh! I want to know the secrets too!. I am the same way, I get so angry then sad when my period shows up. I struggle to be positive

Post # 5
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I need help with this also. I find myself staying away from the TTC/Pregnancy boards because I get so discouraged every time a bee (esp one of my date twins) announces she’s expecting.

I dont want to feel like this any more. I want this baby so bad. I just have to remember that God has the final say.

Post # 6
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh ladies, I know exactly how you feel. Every month that passes just reinforces the feeling that it will never happen and it seem like you’ve been TTCing for an eternity while everyone around you magically falls pregnant. ((Hugs)) It’s an awful place to be.

But the reality of the situation is that there really is no other choice. Giving up would mean giving up on having a baby, and that is something Darling Husband and I aren’t willing to do yet. It’s everything we’ve talked and dreamed about. One way or another, we will be parents someday–whether it happens naturally or through adoption. There’s some comfort in that fact. I also believe that everything happens according to God’s plan and timing for us and for some reason or another, He has a different time line than us!

Sometimes it helps to distract yourself with things other than TTC and focus on your Darling Husband and the fun things you can do now without a baby (not that it takes the longing away, but it can be a good distraction). Some things that I love are: movie marathons and cuddling on the couch with Darling Husband, long sleep-ins on a Saturday morning, dinner dates, traveling, and the occasional splurge on stuff we probably couldn’t afford with a baby.

Surrounding yourself with positive people who can support you is also a great help (like other people on this thread!) My Mom is an awesome support and I know I can phone her crying on CD1 and she will be there to comfort and console me.

Oh and the occasional bottle of wine can really help on a down day too! πŸ™‚ Above all, don’t give up hope.

I posted this on the 6+TTC thread today: A friend of mine posted a wise status on facebook regarding deployment  that an older Navy wife shared with her, “Don’t wish away the days. Try to enjoy each day; you can’t them back.  Because before you know it, you’ll have wished away a good part of your life.”  I know she was speaking about deployment and waiting for her husband to return, but the same lesson really applies to us with TTC.  I’ve thought about that phrase a lot this week and it’s really helped me to be less depressed somewhat at peace with our TTC journey (Cycle #13) and more appreciative of my husband and our time together right now. 

I hope you get your BFPs soon. ♥

Post # 7
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsFarmer:  Oh Darling, you are really boosting my spirits today, what you have written is beautiful and I thank you again (just replied to you on the 6month + board) You have helped me focus a new light on this journey and I hope to charge forward with a little more positivity. Hugs and best of luck to you!!!

Post # 8
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i know the feeling, EVERY time i got my period it felt like another month of failure. alot of people say it will just happen & you kinda blow it off like whatever we have been trying for a # of months. but as soon as we stopped putting pressure on ourselves, it just happened. i know its hard to believe and sometimes you wish it would just happen but believe me it will. my SIL has been trying for 5 years (health problems) & finally they are having a baby boy. after a miscarriage and a premature daughter that came 3 months early & only lived for 14 days. keep your head up !

Post # 9
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@lonsk:  Awesome!  I’m so glad. πŸ™‚  Thanks and good luck back at you!

Post # 11
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MrsFarmer:  This is so so helpful πŸ™‚ I was also inspired by something my counselor said recently. She said in the same way I want a baby right now, many women want to find their life partners. I’ve found mine! It’s good to take a step back and remember how lucky I am to have found and married the man of my dreams. Some people are still waiting for that.

Hope that doesn’t sound conceited or anything. Just trying to be grateful for what I have instead of measuring against what I don’t have at this moment. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

I really wish there was a surefire way to make the pain/discouragement of TTC go away. That feeling of sadness, disappointment, and envy – oh the envy! It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

What works for me doesn’t work for everyone. Some tend to take a break and get TTC off their minds. I try and talk it through – which is why these boards have actually been my salvation. If it wasn’t for some of my fellow infertiles, I would’ve lost the plot a long time ago.

It’s hard not being in control. As a crazy organised forward planner, being unable to conceive for so long has been heartbreaking. But yes, while each month brings disappointment, I am holding out hope that it’s bringing me closer to ONE DAY being a mum. 

Post # 14
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Not to sound flippant, but think of it as another month to save money, another month to learn more about your body, another month to enjoy no responsibilities other then you and your partner / Darling Husband.

I know that TTC is tough but don’t let it become the be all and end all of your life.  You have lots of great stuff going on and it will happen for you!

Post # 15
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ve TTC for many years now and I can tell you that it DOES get easier the longer you are trying.  I can honestly say I’ve had “friends” who called and wanted to complain to me about their TTC b/c it was taking them so long….them 3-6 months versus me 5+ years at the time.  I mean really???  3 months of negative tests is nothing compared to over 60 (back then) months of negative tests.

The one thing I realized is that there are others though out there in the same boat (for the most part) and it DOES suck when they do get pregnant but it does give me hope.

I always allow myself a pity day or two….in the beginning it was more like a pity week.  I just realized everyone LOVES me when I’m at my happiest and because that is who I am that is who I will be.

Post # 16
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I tried to think of one good reason why I wasn’t pregnant “that” month i.e. “Now I won’t be pregnant when we go to Napa” or “Having a September baby isn’t ideal as a teacher.”  They weren’t real reasons, but they made me feel a little bit better.

The only other thing to do is to try to find things to focus on outside of TTC.  This is easier said that done, but it can make a huge difference!  

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