Tired and confused

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Choose one answer...
    Run... Girl..... Run!!! : (108 votes)
    99 %
    Stay and it will get better with time : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Go to counseling : (0 votes)
    IDK, I'm in same situation : (0 votes)
  • Post # 16
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee

    He’s not acting this way because he’s not used to a strong woman, he’s acting this way because you’re allowing it. I would do whatever was necessary to get away from this guy. He’s a parasite.

    Post # 18
    428 posts
    Helper bee

    mochachic :  Holy shit! I’m really sorry you don’t have helpful family…but fuck that and fuck them. You deserve better. It is unbelievable they would advise you to stay! And um it can always be worse but that is SO not the point. Please save yourself and go live a happy life!

    Post # 20
    9948 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Do you want a teenage son or a life partner?

    Cause what you have is a teenage son. Ship him off to military school and live your life, girl.

    Post # 21
    6807 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    My heart keeps me here but my mind says run don’t walk.

    Hearts can be stupid. Definitely RUN and don’t walk. THis guy is  POS and you need out ASAP.

    Post # 22
    2038 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    mochachic :  I’ve read all your updates. I got to the part were he was borrowing your second car and not offering anything before I thought you should ditch him. Then it just got worse. Now you’re saying this guy is 43!! These are the actions of some douche straight out of high school that hasn’t learnt the value of work and relationships. Certainly not the actions of man who should have worked out a few of those things by now.

    Also, your support network is shit. The fact that you’re unhappy should be reason enough to go, let alone all the stuff he’s actually doing. As for the idea that you should only leave when he’s cheating or hitting you, that’s just beyond gross. I’m sorry you have no support because this makes what you need to do much harder. However, you need to be strong, ditch this guy and work on building a support network of great friends that will support you leaving a douche like this.

    Post # 23
    5038 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    “I stay because I’m hopeful he will wake up see what’s standing in front of him”

    In all kindness, you need to wake up and see what is standing in front of you.

    Post # 24
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    I only read the first few, before voting, then read the rest. Girl, what are you doing!? You’ve moved out multiple times, you KNOW he’s a financial mess and freeloader, and now he’s treating you like shit and you still want to be with this man? NO. Move out, and move past this piece of garbage for good. Don’t look back, he’s not worth it.

    Post # 25
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    mochachic :   “they say at least he’s not knocking you around.”

    What the actual…. No. Who says this?!? No one should ever say, “Well at least he’s not abusing you” to justify staying with a shitty guy! He doesn’t need to cheat or abuse you to be a pile of garbage. I would not go to these people for any further relationship advice. 

    Post # 26
    4907 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    The good thing is you can look for jobs while he’s at work. Send out resumes, take the bus to different businesses and give them your resume. Don’t stop looking for employment.  Your situation sucks right now but you can help yourself. You can look for someone who needs a roommate, look at online ads seeking roommates/rent a room. You won’t need full rent x2 saved up for that. Your situation isn’t hopeless and you don’t have to live this way. But you have to help yourself. 

    Post # 27
    11616 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    j9marie :  bingo!

    OP, look at this man. Just look. Observe. What does he actually bring to your life. What resources is he sharing (kindness, support, car, rent). 

    You’re doing it all. 

    If you have to psychoanalyze someone to explain away their behavior, they aren’t a good partner. his problem is not strong women, his problem is he’s a loser. 

    Post # 28
    1056 posts
    Bumble bee

    Run and go to counseling for yourself.

    This is one of the worst relationships I have ever heard of. I think you need serious help if your brain is telling you that any part of this shitshow is acceptable. Good luck.

    Post # 29
    21 posts

    You can do so much better! He is a jealous leech. Leave him, like yesterday.

    Post # 30
    249 posts
    Helper bee

    mochachic :  Lady, RUN as fast as you can. Guy is 43, hell no he will change. 

    My friend and ex-coworker, was involved into 7 year long toxic relashionship like that. The guy was sitting at home for 1,5 years looking for a job that fits his ego, while she was working and paying bills. She was even sending out resumes for him to help with job hunt. Meanwhile he was playing video games all day, and was going to bars with his looser friends and used money she made to buy them drinks. He was not treating her nicely.

    On top of everyhinng she learned that while she was at work, he cheated on her with her girlfriend. She finally had guts to leave him. 5 years later she got married to a nice guy, and her ex, as far as I know from our friends in common is still a looser living with his parents and finding himself. He turned 40 this year! 

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