Tired and confused

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Choose one answer...
    Run... Girl..... Run!!! : (108 votes)
    99 %
    Stay and it will get better with time : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Go to counseling : (0 votes)
    IDK, I'm in same situation : (0 votes)
  • Post # 46
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee

    mochachic :  The ONLY reason this 43 year old man with a job does not have money is he is gambling it. All of it! And probably way deep in over his head. I’m sure you will find CC debt too.  You said he was level headed when you first met him and it went down hill from there, you mentioned he snuck off to the casino in your car!  All of it points to this. If he is not gambling (which I am sure it is) then he is on drugs.  Sorry but this is the truth.  I hope you find the courage to leave him asap. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    5476 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

    didnt make it through either.. but it seems like you already know the answer~!

    Post # 48
    Member
    2085 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Let me get this straight. You quit your job because your boyfriend was jealous and now you are stuck at his house with no resources. Girl, why are you letting this scumbag run (and ruin) your life? You should always have your own money and resources to leave a bad situation. Stop thinking about how to get him to value you (he’s won’t) and start valuing yourself by finding employment and leaving him ASAP.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1195 posts
    Bumble bee

    He’s a Fuckboy.  Get out now before you end up getting pregnant and he walks out on you, leaving you high and dry with a child.  He’ll never marry you.  When you leave, he’ll claim that he will marry you just to get you back but he won’t and he’s only doing it to to maintain control over you.  You need to get yourself a job and get yourself out of there.  Go somewhere he won’t find you and change your phone number because you’re going to keep going back so long as you keep letting him talk you into it and as long as you let him talk you into staying, the more YOU become the problem instead of him.  

    Post # 51
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee

    jayquellen :  

     Me too, I like equal 🙂 I had to work while in college, my parents could not help financially, so I ‘ve learned a lot from it. I cannot stand when someone expects me to pay for them or tries to pay for me and then dictate his rules (because he paid). 

    In my relationship we go dutch often, but he also refuses to take money for some bills from me (like our car insurance under his name, cable and internet) or when we go out. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    10855 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Who the hell is the Bee who voted that the OP should stay and it ‘will get better’?

    Post # 56
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee

    Please leave and never look back. Sounds like a co dependant relationship. Sounds like you were doing pretty well on your own.. He is only dragging you down. Life is too short and there are way better men out there waiting for a girl like you. Best of luck hun❤

    Post # 57
    Member
    8449 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    mochachic :  

    I stay because I’m hopeful he will wake up see what’s standing in front of him.”

    If by this  you mean he wil wake up and see you as  a whole person deserving  of decent , loving treatment , its not going to happen  OP, nor has he ever given you any glimmering  that it might . 

    Post # 58
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Run far and fast! Cut all ties from him. He is completely using you. You should look into resources in your community that may be able to help you financially, or with helping you find employment, or helping you find a place to live. These types of relationships are so toxic. You deserve so much more than what this clown is offering up. I hope you take all the other bees advice and leave and don’t get sucked back in again. Good luck! 

    Post # 59
    Member
    1969 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    mochachic :  That’s the problem right there. You’re not staying with him, because of him. You’re staying because you’re “hopeful” he’ll turn into someone else. You’re staying with a fictional, future version of him, that likely will never come to be. You need to accept reality, and look at the man he is. People don’t change that drastically as a whole. If you don’t like the man he is now (which how could you? He sounds absolutely awful!), get out.  

    Post # 60
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

     Umm, what are you doing? Leave and change all your passwords. Do you monitor your credit regularly? If not, you better be. If there is any chance you left any personal information around for him to find, like ss number, you need to check credit regularly or get LifeLock. Change banking info. Seriously, this is bad news. 

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