(Closed) Tired of all of it!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

first of all…take a deep, deep breath. Okay, good. It is good to vent, so keep it coming!

I do not have children, so I cannot relate to that aspect, however I think that you are very overwhelmed about LIFE in general right now, and not so much about being married. Your son and daughter are not the reason for you getting married..YOU and your FIANCE are. Try to separate the stresses and demands of being a parent away from your plans of marriage. It is unfair to your future hubby, and it is unfair to yourself. 

I really think that life just throws us curves balls at all angles. Right now, you have a lot on your mind and it is fogging up your vision and questioning why you would get married. Just know that these factors will all come and go, but hopefully your marriage with your fiance will last forever. Your daughter’s prom will come and go, your son and his gf will mature, and you will be happily married.

Just remember, no life is perfect, and we are only given what we can handle. You WILL get through this and you WILL thrive! Chin up

Post # 4
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@thumpurr:  Yikes!!! One thing at a time Wonder Woman! Focus on the things you can accomplish. Your son’s issues with his ex will have to be his responsibility To figure out. If you want to see your grand baby, give her a call and let her know you are not your son and whatever issues she has with him stay with him! why should you be punished as well?

Not sure what you can do about your job, I’m in a similar situation, I cannot do a damn thing about it! Frustrating and unfair but not worth expelling my energy on because I can’t change my situation. 

As far as your Fiance and finances..He better be working twice as long and hard as you considering your financial obligations. 

I hear you! it feels good to bitch about it sometimes. I’m a single mom of a teenager with two jobs, no child support in two years , no time to plan my wedding or clean, or spend time with my daughter…I could go on and on! Ha! Wine helps:)  We will survive! 

Post # 6
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@thumpurr:  Thanks:) I’ve resigned to keep moving forward it’s all we can do.  Ha! junk purchases cute way to describe them. Fiance loves to shop, lately he’s into guns and those aren’t cheap we don’t live together yet and he makes more than me so all the more power to him.

Here’s to some much needed “me”time for us both:)

Post # 8
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did I read that right?  Sometimes you’re not getting paid for the hours you are working?  Are you an exempt or non-exempt employee?  Next time that shit happens, you contact your State’s Labor board.  THat’s illegal.  

 

Lay down some ground rules with fiance.  Do you currently share expenses and a bank account with him?  Then, he has to run purchases by you before he makes these big purchases.  If you honestly cannot regulate and agree on finances together, I don’t see that you’re going to have a healthy marriage.

 

As far as the grandbaby goes– you may want to make sure you have a healthy relationship with the baby’s mother.  CALL her and ask her if you can come over to visit the baby.  

Post # 9
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@thumpurr:  Yes! Haha

Post # 10
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I sweetie i am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. The other Bees advice about wine is right on the money. It obviously will calm you down and allow you to breath..

Kudos to you for being a single parent and have given so much and sacrificed so much for them and sometime they dont to acknowledge that they wouldnt have made it without you. I too am a single parent for 27 years and I promise you it will get easier.

You Fiance is a collector I know how frustrating that is I have two girls that are the same. I think when you talk to him and explain why you feel the way you do he will stop. Sometimes they dont think they act and when they stop and look at what they have done they have regret about their purchases but will never tell you they made a mistake. He will just stop and you will say to yourself thank God he gets it.

BIG HUG

Post # 12
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@thumpurr:  Good for you.  Try your best to maintain a good relationship with your grandchild’s mother.  You will always have a link to her!!  Make sure to tell her POINTEDLY that you do not want to get in the middle of the relationship with her and your son.  You don’t want to be the intermediatory on that!!  hopefully she’ll get it.  

 

As far as work goes, You could probably also email the Dept. of Labor in your state…if that would be easier than trying to call during work (business) hours.  This is ILLEGAL!  This isn’t just one of those random “i hate my boss” kind of thing…!!

 

Try to relax and sit back and write a list of the problems you are currently having.  After you’ve written that list, divide them into subcategories:

1.  Things I can control

2.  Things I cannot control.

 

 

 

Try not to obsess too much about stuff that falls into the second list.  I know, it’s hard…we’re women, so we worry…but worrying doesn’t ever solve a damn thing!!

 

 

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