(Closed) Tired of being “Cost Effective” (just need to vent)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

AHHH I could have written this post today! My photog isn’t available for my new date so I’m on the hunt for a new one… and since we’d already paid a deposit that we’re losing, our budget is out that much more money!

I’m PMSing big time so I actually cried about money and budgeting for an hour today… but all this hard work is going to make me appreciate my wedding even more. Chin up! We can do it!

Post # 4
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

vent girl! it’s annoying and i wish you didn’t have to go thru it.

Post # 5
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

ugh! I hear you, sister!  We’re at the point where we are deciding between our wedding vision (which is REALLY important to us, especially since some deposits are in & STD’s went out to our VIPs – so changing the vision feels like reneging on what was “promised” in the STDs) or cutting our guest list (NOT our VIPs, only those who did NOT receive STDs). So, VERY EMOTIONAL & I totally feel what you’re going through. 

But hang in there!  To borrow a Catholic/Christian saying: “The wedding is for a day, your marriage is for a LIFETIME.” Let’s concentrate on the wonderful partners we’re marrying  & how the trials we’re going thru will make us stronger couples in the end (with more money & less debt).

Post # 7
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I feel it too. We’re not doing ANY florals in our centerpieces (well….. MAYBE baby’s breath in globe vases) because of finances. I keep telling everyone it’s for environmental reasons, haha. Silly pride, right?

Everything else you listed is us too; I’m hoping to get a second hand dress (or have one made in China), and will probably wear shoes and jewelry that I already own. We aren’t have any alcohol (partially because our venue won’t allow it, but that was kind of a plus, because it makes it look like the venue’s fault, not ours – again with the pride!), not even a champagne toast.

Yep, it’s tough.

Just remember though: The most important thing is that you’re marrying the man you love, and that one day is just day one of your amazing marriage together! A day to be surrounded by those you love, and who love you, and to celebrate with them. That’s the important part, not the flowers or the dress or the perfectly matched linens.

Post # 8
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This may sound stupid but I’ve kind of been thinking about it as a game or a challenge!  Example:  I fell in love with a dress that was $1,500–found a similar dress at David’s for $600–bought a China dress for $152 (which turned out even more beautiful than the original designer dress).  It took some work but I love bargain-hunting so it’s my thing.  Maybe if you’re tired of the ‘hunt’ you can recruit a friend who likes that kind of stuff?  I love finding travel deals so friends always ask me for help when planning a trip and I don’t mind at all.

Post # 9
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Vent away!  

The good thing: once it’s all over, you aren’t stressed about all the bills because, hey, you already paid for it.  It’s a gorgeous and wonderful day in your life, but it IS just a day, in the end.  We loved the fact that we could create an event with little, but have so MUCH! =)

Post # 10
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had a good cry the other night to my Fiance about how sucky our money situation is and how I’ve always wanted a wedding of my dreams and blahblahblahblah. I go through good periods (who cares, we’ve got each other- type thoughts) and bad periods (URGH, its the middle of the month, got bills, gotta pay for X, Y, Z and we’re broke and maybe we need to cut back on X, Y, Z). ARGH!!!!

Post # 11
Bee
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

Vent away! =)  We ended up having a destination wedding and keep the guest count down.  That has really helped the budget.  I think every bride goes through this.  You are not alone.  *hugs*

Post # 12
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I hear you!  I’m in the $150 dress category, the dated-but-cheap reception hall category, and we’re only having a cocktail reception because we can’t afford to serve a full dinner.  My BMs are also carrying paper parasols instead of bouquets to save some $.

It looks like you’re big day is cloing in now.  Spring 2010.  You can do it. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@CW – I think I say that to J just about every time we talk about the wedding, “This would be so much easier if we just had $5000 more!” – but I have to remind myself that if we had $5000 more, we’d want another $5k on top of that, because our taste would suddenly get that much more expensive. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It was hard to be cost effective but we did it. We stayed close to the budget. It felt good not to have wedding debt and not to have to spend our gift money paying for wedding debt.

Post # 16
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve also been looking at it like a challenge – one website has a cost and I go “hmm, I bet I can find it for cheaper!” But I can honestly say I am getting tired of my never-ending trips to Jo-Ann and Michael’s (I only buy if it’s already on sale or I have one of my handy-dandy coupons).

I’ve also been cost-cutting at home. Bath & Body Works, I love you so, but $12 for body wash? Nuh-uh – I will get something from Target for $4. I do still splurge on the lotion because the scents are divine! And today, it boiled over in a good way – I’ve been needing new work pants (wedding weight loss and eating better). So I went to Gap and said “screw it, these two pair of pants fit, I’m going to buy them even though they’re regular price.” And when I got to the checkout, the lady said they had sent out 40% off coupons and because I had obviously “left mine at home” she was just going to give me the discount anyway. It really made my day.

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