- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
So my FI & I had originally planned on getting married early 2014, a year away from our engagement. Then we ended up moving that day to Memorial weekend 2014 (17 months from our engagement).
My parents will not be contributing to the wedding, so all in all, we will be saving up for this wedding ourselves. His mother told us she would give us a nice chunk of money for a wedding gift to spend as we choose, but I would much rather use that money for a down payment on a house than on a wedding that is only going to last 8 hrs. My FI and I just got a bigger, much nicer place together, and weve been at each others throats less cause were not so squished in a tiny apartment & we’ve both made a concious decision to live healthier lifestyles.
I’m finally at a point where I am HAPPY being engaged and I’m enjoying my time with my FI. I can see us building a life together and am less uncertain about our future. Its now been six months since weve been engaged (though it only feels like 1 month), I have my dress, Ive ordered my ridiculously expensive shoes, & we still dont have a wedding date. I’m in no hurry to set a date and worry about time running out to save for the wedding.
I’m getting REALLY, REALLY tired of everyone having an opinion about my FI and my’s decision to take things easy and just let things fall in to place. Were both at a point where were focused on moving up in our careers, and really don’t have a lot of time to sleep, let alone plan a wedding. I’m finishing two certification courses while working two jobs 50+ hrs a week, and he has a commission driven, high stress job that takes up a lot of his time. We’re both completely okay with not setting a firm date, though he would like to get married sooner than later.
I keep getting questions from people about the wedding & when it’s going to be. Everybody keeps giving me these weird looks when I say that we don’t have a firm date. It’s like theyre trying to put my engagement in this cookie cutter, fairy-tale based box, and I’m supposed to play the role of an over-zealous, eager bride. I don’t know if people are just taken aback about my FI & I’s laid back approach to the wedding planning (& we have been planning, but more logically discussing our options about the kind of wedding we want), or if they’re actually just as RUDE as their comments.
I have a lot of jaded friends who have been through bad marriages and try to give me their advice on marriage. I also have a lot of unmarried friends who want to give me their two cents about anything and everything. I’m just plain fed up with people tying to interject their opinions to me about my relationship & how I should be planning MY wedding. I just want to yell at people to STAY OUT OF IT, but I know I would just look psychotic since weddings are something that girls are supposed to gush over. My FI & I aren’t going to have the easiest road ahead of us coming from two families of very different religions, & I don’t feel the need to explain to people why we are pushing our wedding & having such a long engagement. Our engagement has already put a wedge in my friendship with a few people (I literally had a girl block me on FB when I didn’t ask her to be my bridesmaid) & I don’t want it to be a source of stress to my family or to myself. His mother and mine finally met last weekend (talk about anxiety) and they hit it off wonderfully. I just wish that people would take all of their societal views about weddings out of it and go back to the MEANING of what a wedding is about- the merging of two families and start of a new one.
I don’t understand why people act like long engagements are a bad thing. Since my FI and I got engaged, our relationship has evolved and strengthed so much just over having made that simple promise (to get married) to each other.
Anyone else having similar issues with “judgemental friends”?