Post # 1
Yes, this is another alias account :/ Oh well 🙂
FI and I have been together for 8 years.. Sex is good, he’s the only guy thats ever gotten me to reach the big O, however it doesn’t happen too often. (Whereas he is able to reach it every. single. time!) As you can imagine, after a while it gets a little.. ugh. He literally rocks my world while we are doing it, but it kinda feels like a high plateau of pleasure rather than a gradual incline and then BOOM! lol.
Sometimes I feel like its a mental thing, and that I need to just LET GO/LOOSE. (I mean, its only been 8 YEARS!)
TMI sorry, but I feel like its because I’ve masturbated alot, so thats the only way I know how to reach the big O. (I was abused as a child and feel like that was the reason for my masturbating at a young age). Its definitely affected me, FI was the first person I’ve ever told and that was at least 15+ years later. Only recently have I been able to do it infront of him. Once.
I don’t know what kind of advice I’m looking for, but its easier for me to share this with anonymous, random internet people that I will never know, than to talk to anyone that I do know IRL. What do I do??
Post # 3
@aliasbee: First off stop putting so much pressure on yourself and your FI. Not everyone including healthy active sexual people have the Big O. I am 37 years old and didnt get my first one til I was nearly 30. Yes it typically happens with masturbation, however I would advise including toys in your play.
Say if your on your knees and he is in behind you, use a toy to stimulate yourself. Its pleasurable and you can get a Big O from it. Also try more foreplay. Let it build.
I have to say that I had huge problem having the Big O as well but with a little bit of experimentation I get one nearly every time now. Not always but then again its not always about me. FI has to work a little harder so I dont expect it every time.
Just be patient and dont put pressure on yourself or him.
Post # 4
Get a vibrator and use that while having sex.
Post # 5
@aliasbee: are you stimulating yourself during sex? I’ve only been able to orgasm from penetration alone a small handful of times. Pretty much every time we have sex, I stimulate my clitoris, be it with a vibrator or just on my own… you basically masturbate during sex. I orgasm 98% of the time. It’s rare that I don’t orgasm.
Post # 6
That is rough, but I’m here to tell you that The Big O is not as mysterious as it’s reputed to be! I find that us girls can get a little distracted by the goal line and literally run ourselves out of the race altogether. I hate putting it bluntly, but I also hate the idea of a girl going without, so here it is..Because 99 percent of gret sex is enthusiasm! Time to get the team on board. Most men that don’t know better come at you like a piston and that’s great for them, but can leave us ladies in the dust. What works best for me is Mr. 99 on top, me on the bottom, and instead of the in & out routine, he stays in and we rock against each other….it’s a lot more stimulation, very intimate, and within a few minutes of that WHAM! I understand you’ve got some other issues and I can’t help with those sadly, but on a technical level, orgasms from penetration only are not only possible, but the main event around here….
Post # 7
I’ve never had one, so I can’t really give you advice there, but patience is what I’m learning. Since it’s happened before, figure out what went right that made it happen, and what went “wrong” some other times that made it not happen.
Post # 8
I guess a lot of times I’m more worried about how it feels for him. (Even though he always has a happy ending!) I know what feels good, and my favorite position really is with him on top.
He really does want to/try to please me 🙂
I really want to have more Os with just him and not my hand/vibrator. I guess we just need to do it more. (Really we do it at least 3x a week)I think the grinding like nona99 would be best.
Post # 9
My SO and I had this problem for awhile. He was so concerned with pleasing me that he forgot about his own pleasure and put a lot of pressure on himself to please me. Which in turn put pressure on me to finish which meant nobody was finishing. We’ve learned that you have to relax and enjoy the ride without focusing on the ‘goal'(I always tell him the real goal is to have fun, not necessarily to finish). It’s also easier when your partner is obviously enjoying themselves, so sometimes one of us takes complete charge of what’s going on which lets the other person relax more.
Post # 10
Have you tried Os with *his* hand? A common technique is us is we take foreplay the whole way, he fingers/stimulates me to O, then he comes inside after.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
There’s nothing wrong or uncommon with needing clitoral stimulation! A lot of women can’t have an orgasm from penetration only, especially not without a lot of foreplay. If you’re uncomfortable touching yourself in front of him, have him touch you (as others have suggested) and perhaps gradually adjust his technique so he can do it “your way” and get you there faster.
Post # 12
@paula1248: Yes if I didn’t make that clear, I meant he stimulates the clit (as well as fingering me inside a bit). Sorry if that’s TMI…
Post # 13
Qute often he rubs me, especially when we’re kind of in an “L” position (him on upright on his knees and me on my back). And if he’s behind, I’m usually stimulating myself. I think it is like some posts stated, I need to stop putting so much pressure on trying to get there and just relax and fully enjoy it. (And have him slow down, cause don’t get me wrong it feels good when he pounds it, but I think I’d get there at a slower rate) I think I’m realizing what I/we should do and hopefully it’ll work.