(Closed) TMI! Difficulty Reaching the BIG O! Advice please :)

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@aliasbee:  First off stop putting so much pressure on yourself and your FI. Not everyone including healthy active sexual people have the Big O. I am 37 years old and didnt get my first one til I was nearly 30. Yes it typically happens with masturbation, however I would advise including toys in your play.

Say if your on your knees and he is in behind you, use a toy to stimulate yourself. Its pleasurable and you can get a Big O from it. Also try more foreplay. Let it build.

I have to say that  I had huge problem having the Big O as well but with a little bit of experimentation I get one nearly every time now. Not always but then again its not always about me. FI has to work a little harder so I dont expect it every time.

Just be patient and dont put pressure on yourself or him.

Post # 4
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Get a vibrator and use that while having sex. 

Post # 5
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@aliasbee:  are you stimulating yourself during sex?  I’ve only been able to orgasm from penetration alone a small handful of times.  Pretty much every time we have sex, I stimulate my clitoris, be it with a vibrator or just on my own… you basically masturbate during sex.  I orgasm 98% of the time.  It’s rare that I don’t orgasm.

Post # 6
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

That is rough, but I’m here to tell you that The Big O is not as mysterious as it’s reputed to be!  I find that us girls can get a little distracted by the goal line and literally run ourselves out of the race altogether.  I hate putting it bluntly, but I also hate the idea of a girl going without, so here it is..Because 99 percent of gret sex is enthusiasm!  Time to get the team on board.  Most men that don’t know better come at you like a piston and that’s great for them, but can leave us ladies in the dust.  What works best for me is Mr. 99 on top, me on the bottom, and instead of the in & out routine, he stays in and we rock against each other….it’s a lot more stimulation, very intimate, and within a few minutes of that WHAM!  I understand you’ve got some other issues and I can’t help with those sadly, but on a technical level, orgasms from penetration only are not only possible, but the main event around here….

Post # 7
4689 posts
Honey bee

I’ve never had one, so I can’t really give you advice there, but patience is what I’m learning. Since it’s happened before, figure out what went right that made it happen, and what went “wrong” some other times that made it not happen. 

Post # 9
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My SO and I had this problem for awhile. He was so concerned with pleasing me that he forgot about his own pleasure and put a lot of pressure on himself to please me. Which in turn put pressure on me to finish which meant nobody was finishing. We’ve learned that you have to relax and enjoy the ride without focusing on the ‘goal'(I always tell him the real goal is to have fun, not necessarily to finish). It’s also easier when your partner is obviously enjoying themselves, so sometimes one of us takes complete charge of what’s going on which lets the other person relax more.

Post # 10
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you tried Os with *his* hand? A common technique is us is we take foreplay the whole way, he fingers/stimulates me to O, then he comes inside after.

Post # 11
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

There’s nothing wrong or uncommon with needing clitoral stimulation! A lot of women can’t have an orgasm from penetration only, especially not without a lot of foreplay. If you’re uncomfortable touching yourself in front of him, have him touch you (as others have suggested) and perhaps gradually adjust his technique so he can do it “your way” and get you there faster.

Post # 12
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@paula1248:  Yes if I didn’t make that clear, I meant he stimulates the clit (as well as fingering me inside a bit). Sorry if that’s TMI…

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