(Closed) TMI! Do you tell your husband you're "faking" it?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Do you tell your husband you 'fake' it?
    Yes, I've told him/I do tell him because I want to be 100% honest with him in terms of our intimacy : (40 votes)
    14 %
    No, I don't tell him because I don't want him to feel embarrassed and am okay with faking : (117 votes)
    42 %
    Other (pls explain!) : (120 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @poppygirl16:  Stop faking it! It does neither of you any good. Tell him what you actually enjoy, for heavens sake! 

    And you possibly need an option for those who don’t fake it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have NEVER faked an orgasm. If I am going to have sex, I’m getting something out of it, too Wink

    Why don’t you tell him what gets you off? Actually, why don’t you show him?? Whatever works when you’re alone, will work even better with him. If using a vibrator for direct clitoral stimulation does it, then introduce that into your love making.

    Telling him won’t embarass him if you doing gently. Don’t tell him what he’s doing wrong, show and tell him what to do instead.

    Post # 5
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Ugh! why did it post twice? sorry

    Post # 6
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I personally don’t fake it (there’s been times I can’t “get there”,  but I just let him know & then we move on to getting him there), but, in your position, I would probably just a. stop faking it and b. tell him what you do like. I would avoid telling him you don’t like those things because that’s just awkward territory & will make him feel bad. Just steer him towards things that will work & he’ll start using those techniques when he sees your (good) reaction. Good luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2961 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve never “faked” in my life. Too old to start now!

     

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    You need to stop faking it and tell him what you want him to do.  If you just stopped faking it and didn’t say anything, it would probably be a bigger blow to his ego because he won’t understand why he can’t get you there anymore.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3135 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Why not try to figure out how to get there? You don’t have to tell him (and if you enjoy the things he’s doing go ahead & let him continue) just suggest some new stuff. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1514 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have never faked an orgasm with my fiance, and I’ve never faked one with any of my previous partners either. I guess I just never felt the need to. Even if I don’t have one, I just say, “I don’t think I’ll be able to have one this time.” No one has ever been offended by this.

    With regard to the original poster, you definitely need to stop faking it. He may be a little confused as to why you’ve never mentioned it before, but if you’re not honest with him, you may never figure out what works for you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1599 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’ve only faked like …. 6 times since we’ve been dating/having sex over the past 4.5 years.

    The only reason I’ve done it is if he’s REALLY in the mood and I’m not but I feel bad. lol

    I’ve told him that I’ve faked a few times if the topic of conversation comes up but it’s usually among friends and we laugh about it.

    I don’t think it’s a big deal if it only happens every once in awhile, but if it’s constant, that needs to be addressed!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    i never fake it with my Fiance, i just tell him if it’s just not going to happen or if there is something else we can do so it will happen. i am 100% honest with him. i think you probably need to come clean with your SO.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I have never in my life faked it.  In My Humble Opinion, if they cannot get you off, they do not deserve to think that they can.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3763 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It sucks but I think you should just come clean. Do you want bad sex for the rest of your life? I bet he doesn’t want you to not enjoy sex either. He seems very eager to please you sexually, so you’ve got that going for you. start fresh. Just make sure you tell him YOU were the one who messed up by lying about it and were just trying to seem eager to please him so he doesn’t feel incompetent. It will probably hurt his ego but I think it’s best to be honest and I think you an get through it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1999

    Sure, we do things to “satisfy” our SO’s…but, in order for you to improve your intimacy and double your fun, you really need to communicate with him.  I’m sure he’ll LOVE the process and find it to be refreshing and a turn on when he really sees you respond to his touch, etc.!  Make that your 2013 resolution!  Tongue Out

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