TMI- Have a stomach parasite and husband will not get tested

posted 4 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4793 posts
Honey bee

I wouldn’t have sex with him until he gets an all clear. Otherwise what if you just pass it back and forth? 

Post # 3
764 posts
Busy bee

Why do men do stupid shit like this? I have a similar situation with my husband. He gets a ton of really heavy nosebleeds and he won’t get himself checked out despite me asking him to several times. Put on your big boy pants and go to the freaking doctor! 

That aside, I’d go with “this thing will kill you if you have it, stop being a man-baby and get tested.”

Post # 4
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, I’m sorry for what you’re going through and wish you a speedy recovery. 

It’s not the most mature reaction and I wouldn’t use it for anything less than this serious…but I would tell him if he wants to continue being married to me, he’d be getting tested. 

And I absolutely would stop all sexual activity until he does get tested. That should get him moving quickly. And go with him for the test. Don’t let him tell you he got tested and everything is fine if you think there’s any chance he’d lie about it just to appease you. I’ve read too much stuff on this website. 

Post # 5
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I agree about absolutely stopping ALL sexual activity and/or any contact with mucous membranes until he is tested – that means no open mouth kissing, either. No one is immune to things like this, and you have a child at risk. Even if he doesn’t value his own life over $350, he should value yours and your child’s life more than that.

Post # 6
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Does he have to get tested?  Couldn’t you just both be treated?  I’ve done parasite cleanses before (Humaworm) without being tested.  A lot of times parasites don’t show up in testing anyway, but we still have them.  

Post # 9
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard



sorry OP, I understand you’re upset but if he’s not symptomatic or having any GI issues, after all this time, do you think he really has it? Hope you get better soon. I would ask your doctor if they think it’s necessary for him to get tested.

Post # 10
1015 posts
Bumble bee

tracyb101 :  “This parasite that i have ( the only one that can be transmitted sexually) can only be transmitted thorugh sexualy activity through the bum area, so anything else, kissing, “regular” intercourse, is fine.”

There are a few parasites that can be transmitted sexually (the most common one being Trichomonas), but it sounds like you’re talking about Entamoeba histolytica?  Where I live, if someone is diagnosed with E. histolytica then the recommendation is that family members and close contacts (so basically anyone living in the same house, not just sexual contacts) should be screened, and anyone infected (even if they’re asymptomatic) should be treated.  Many cases are asymptomatic so the fact that he feels fine is irrelevant – if you’ve been diagnosed with it, he should be tested.  Based on the guidelines where I live, your child should get tested too, but the guidelines where you live may be different, so just go with what your own doctor says on that one.

Post # 11
228 posts
Helper bee

He might not be willing to pay $350 for himself because he feels fine, but would be pay $350 for the sake of your mental health?

It isn’t a card I would suggest playing lightly, as it could come across as guilt tripping/manipulation, but given that you have done some bum stuff there is a genuine possibility of him being infected and just asymptomatic. If other more logical reasoning doesn’t work, and it really is affecting your mental health then talk to him about that. Maybe you can get him to get tested for your sake of not his own. 

Post # 12
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

OP, I’m not suggesting to stop sexual activity just because the risk of re-infection is present. If you stop kissing/touching/anything with him…he’ll run to the doctor’s office for the test. If he doesn’t respect or care about you enough to do this because you’ve asked him to, he doesn’t deserve any fun. Again, manipulative – but sometimes it’s necessary. And part of being a responsible, sexual partner is taking care of things when they come up. This is one of those things, whether he likes it or not. 

Post # 13
3681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

redroses76 :  😂😂😂 THIS. i’m pretty sexually ambitious, but there are two hard core rules: mouth to anus is a no, and anus to vagina is a no. IT’S JUST REALLY FREAKING UNHEALTHY! like, seriously. every time i see it in porn i’m like, “they need to put a do not try this at home warning on there”

Post # 14
1301 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm..I don’t think his behavior about this is normal at all. I wonder if he might have contracted it from someone outside the marriage and is worried you’ll suspect something if he tests positive.

Post # 15
1693 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

HoneysHoney :  you said what I was thinking. I very very seriously hope it’s not the case. 

tracyb101 :  Denial is a very very powerful mechanism. Do you know how many people have participated in highly dangerous practices, contracted potentially deadly STD’s and then gone about their lives pretending it isnt going on? Even people WITH actual verified cases of said STD. Because they just couldn’t bear to face the reality and as much as they might not normally be selfish and  absolutely dirt of the earth pricks, they were able to completely shut off the part of their reasoning in order to avoid dealing with this very very horrible reality. It’s sadly not even that uncommon.

Now, I know a parasite isn’t necessarily an STD but it IS a social tabu and it is creepy as f***. 

The man is not being rational (and right now it doesn’t even matter why)

He needs to deal with this or you guys are taking a relationship break. My opinion. 


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