Post # 1
So forewarn this is Too Much Information, I just wanted to put that out there right away.
a few weeks ago, after having some serious gut issues for a long time, I got some stool results back and I have a very serious parasite. I was shocked as it can be very serious, can go to the brain/liver abssesses and can cause death if the protozoa/cysts decide to go to the liver and expand etc.
I have no idea how I got it( its usually from dirty water in many countries but I havent been travelling).
The big thing is: it can be spread sexually by the anal area, rimming etc. And my husband and I, again Too Much Information, have done THAT ( not anal sex but rimming) in the past year(s). Now, I told him, and he will not get tested. Especially as it can be transmitted sexually, and its a dangerous parasite, but he will not get any stool testing done to see if he also has this parasite.
I am completely freaking out over the fact I have this parasite among a few others, and now need to get healthy, but the fact my husband may also have it and he is not getting testing, is throwing me a little over the edge. We have a young child and he is just blasé over this, and thinks he will/is immune.He could be fine but since this is a dangeous parasite/life changing, I dont want to take that chance. It will cost $350 for testing and doesnt want to pay for soemthing he thinks will just tell him he is fine.
Any ideas to get him to understand he needs testing? This whole situation has given me anxiety/ my stress levels are spiked and i dont want the potential for something to happen to him, that I could have potentially given to him myself. So the guilt is eating me up inside but he just will not go test.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t have sex with him until he gets an all clear. Otherwise what if you just pass it back and forth?
Post # 3
Why do men do stupid shit like this? I have a similar situation with my husband. He gets a ton of really heavy nosebleeds and he won’t get himself checked out despite me asking him to several times. Put on your big boy pants and go to the freaking doctor!
That aside, I’d go with “this thing will kill you if you have it, stop being a man-baby and get tested.”
Post # 4
First, I’m sorry for what you’re going through and wish you a speedy recovery.
It’s not the most mature reaction and I wouldn’t use it for anything less than this serious…but I would tell him if he wants to continue being married to me, he’d be getting tested.
And I absolutely would stop all sexual activity until he does get tested. That should get him moving quickly. And go with him for the test. Don’t let him tell you he got tested and everything is fine if you think there’s any chance he’d lie about it just to appease you. I’ve read too much stuff on this website.
Post # 5
I agree about absolutely stopping ALL sexual activity and/or any contact with mucous membranes until he is tested – that means no open mouth kissing, either. No one is immune to things like this, and you have a child at risk. Even if he doesn’t value his own life over $350, he should value yours and your child’s life more than that.
Post # 6
Does he have to get tested? Couldn’t you just both be treated? I’ve done parasite cleanses before (Humaworm) without being tested. A lot of times parasites don’t show up in testing anyway, but we still have them.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone for yuor support!
This parasite that i have ( the only one that can be transmitted sexually) can only be transmitted thorugh sexualy activity through the bum area, so anything else, kissing, “regular” intercourse, is fine.
But again, this is frickin parasite- Pathogenitc parasite! It can cause issues to the gut, the immune system- its done damage to me as Ive been feeling il lfor the pass few years- and he thinks he fine!
PaperQueen : He wouldnt get treated unless he has a positive test for this parasite. Its a been comprehensive specific antibiotic, thats given over a coruse of a couple weeks, and its heavy duty, so the gastroenterologist will only prescirbe it if you can cofnirm you have it. I now have to be followed up before and after treatment to see if it worked but yet, he wont even go to see if he has it! Completely worried about me, but thinks he is fine. Ahh
Post # 8
deannamarie : yes thank you,m thats exactly what i need to say
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard
THIS IS WHY WE DON’T LICK OTHER PEOPLE’S BUTTHOLES.
sorry OP, I understand you’re upset but if he’s not symptomatic or having any GI issues, after all this time, do you think he really has it? Hope you get better soon. I would ask your doctor if they think it’s necessary for him to get tested.
Post # 10
tracyb101 : “This parasite that i have ( the only one that can be transmitted sexually) can only be transmitted thorugh sexualy activity through the bum area, so anything else, kissing, “regular” intercourse, is fine.”
There are a few parasites that can be transmitted sexually (the most common one being Trichomonas), but it sounds like you’re talking about Entamoeba histolytica? Where I live, if someone is diagnosed with E. histolytica then the recommendation is that family members and close contacts (so basically anyone living in the same house, not just sexual contacts) should be screened, and anyone infected (even if they’re asymptomatic) should be treated. Many cases are asymptomatic so the fact that he feels fine is irrelevant – if you’ve been diagnosed with it, he should be tested. Based on the guidelines where I live, your child should get tested too, but the guidelines where you live may be different, so just go with what your own doctor says on that one.
Post # 11
He might not be willing to pay $350 for himself because he feels fine, but would be pay $350 for the sake of your mental health?
It isn’t a card I would suggest playing lightly, as it could come across as guilt tripping/manipulation, but given that you have done some bum stuff there is a genuine possibility of him being infected and just asymptomatic. If other more logical reasoning doesn’t work, and it really is affecting your mental health then talk to him about that. Maybe you can get him to get tested for your sake of not his own.
Post # 12
OP, I’m not suggesting to stop sexual activity just because the risk of re-infection is present. If you stop kissing/touching/anything with him…he’ll run to the doctor’s office for the test. If he doesn’t respect or care about you enough to do this because you’ve asked him to, he doesn’t deserve any fun. Again, manipulative – but sometimes it’s necessary. And part of being a responsible, sexual partner is taking care of things when they come up. This is one of those things, whether he likes it or not.
Post # 13
redroses76 : 😂😂😂 THIS. i’m pretty sexually ambitious, but there are two hard core rules: mouth to anus is a no, and anus to vagina is a no. IT’S JUST REALLY FREAKING UNHEALTHY! like, seriously. every time i see it in porn i’m like, “they need to put a do not try this at home warning on there”
Post # 14
Hmm..I don’t think his behavior about this is normal at all. I wonder if he might have contracted it from someone outside the marriage and is worried you’ll suspect something if he tests positive.
Post # 15
HoneysHoney : you said what I was thinking. I very very seriously hope it’s not the case.
tracyb101 : Denial is a very very powerful mechanism. Do you know how many people have participated in highly dangerous practices, contracted potentially deadly STD’s and then gone about their lives pretending it isnt going on? Even people WITH actual verified cases of said STD. Because they just couldn’t bear to face the reality and as much as they might not normally be selfish and absolutely dirt of the earth pricks, they were able to completely shut off the part of their reasoning in order to avoid dealing with this very very horrible reality. It’s sadly not even that uncommon.
Now, I know a parasite isn’t necessarily an STD but it IS a social tabu and it is creepy as f***.
The man is not being rational (and right now it doesn’t even matter why)
He needs to deal with this or you guys are taking a relationship break. My opinion.